What The Heaven Is Value?

January 31, 2009 by  

lightworker darkworker

My dear friend Hunter Nuttall wrote “What The Hell Is Value?”  and gave me a special treatment of homework.  A very special attention to me out of his thousands of readership!  What an honor.  I feel obliged to reciprocate.

In this article, I will first take you back to the beginning of time so we know how the Universe and any and all things in it, including this stuff we call life, started.  This is a critical knowledge to understand the lightwork and darkwork, or lightworkers and darkworkers. (Second link love to Hunter.  Think abundance.)  This leads to our discussion of what value is, and I will wrap up by explaining how we can make money by delivering value in our daily work life.

It’s a long post.  Please bookmark.  (Photo by siderean)

We all came from Light

First there was Light.  Or a mass of energy.  Everything in the Universe (or maybe Universes), including the Universe itself, came out from this original Light.  Scientists call it the Big Bang.  Light became atoms and formed substances.  And the stars.  And life forms.

Even today, many people, such as those who experienced near-death or after-death episodes, report seeing bright white light that they intuitively recognized as the source of life energy.  I think visible lights, like sunlight, are part of this Light that illuminates the whole Universe, in all dimensions.  It is the Light that provides us with vital life energy.

All came from the one Source of Light, so there was no lack. Everything that was was just that, and everything was in harmony.  This was great, but somehow, the Source, which has intelligence of some kind, decided to try something different.  Why not create an illusion of lack so we know, by contrast, we are truly abundant?

I don’t know when this happened, or if it took place on this Earth when humans were already inhabiting.  But for now, I am going to pretend it did so I can share some stories that illustrate the case.

The original utopia

So we were living in this original world where everything there was simply was.  Again, this may not have been this Earth and we may have been different life forms, but for the sake of simplicity we will pretend it was.  You may wish to visualize a round faced petite woman called Akemi, living happily in harmony with others.

She picked berries and ate them, but there were so many, so after she had eaten plenty, she went out and shared the rest with others.  Both my alter ego and her neighbors were happy.

She was not very good at fixing things, so when there was a leak in her hut, she asked her neighbor if he could help, and of course he did.  He liked doing this kind of work and was pleased looking at his clean work.  Both were happy.

Notice she didn’t ask for the repair work as a “return” of her giving him berries.  They just did what was natural to each of them, and all were served.

It was the same with relationships.  When my alter ego saw a nice cute guy, she went up and told him she liked him.  If he liked her, too, they made love, and both were happy.  If he liked staying around, they had a long-term relationship.  If he didn’t, it was no big deal because there were other cute guys.  No drama, just love and joy.

All kids were looked after by all the villagers.  For women, the children she gave birth were special, and for men, their women’s children were special, but really all kids were well loved and cared.  In fact, not just kids.  Everyone was loved for who they were, and everyone loved all there was.  All in harmony and peace as it was.

They may or may not talked about spirituality, but they were highly spiritual anyway.  They knew they came from the one Source and still connected to this Source.  They also knew they were all interconnected.

Even death was not something to be feared.  It was sad because it was about separation, but they intuitively knew it was a temporary separation, so after a while, they moved on.  Some lived long, some died young, but all were well.

The “Fall” and the birth of darkworkers

Then something unusual happened.  Someone came up with the idea of getting more than there was by seeding the idea of lack to people’s mind.

Say, one day, there was a traveling merchant who showed pretty red stones to my alter ego.  She liked them and wanted one of the pendant.  The merchant said she had to pay.  So she offered a basket full of berries.

. . . and to her surprise, he said “That is not enough to get the pendant.”

He wanted something more.  The next door guy offered him big chunk of dried meat and could get a pendant for his wife.  My alter ego’s berries were valued less because they didn’t store well.  She was shocked.  Until then, she never even thought something she had to offer may not by “enough”.

The merchant also told everyone that there were only limited supply of red stones.  So the value of the stones would go up – that next door guy was lucky to get it with five pounds of meat.

This affected my next door neighbor’s mind.  He started to think he is “better’ than others.  He began saying things that put others down and stopped doing kind things for them.  He “fell” and became a darkworker.  At first, he just did a little bit of darkwork occasionally.  Eventually, however, he became good at manipulating others.

The idea of lack and scarcity affected relationships as well.  Suddenly, there was a rumor that there weren’t enough cute guys!  Any smart woman was to “keep” a guy so that he would bring the paychecks to raise their kids.

Things were even worse for men.  Suddenly there was a rumor that there weren’t enough good women, so they had to secure a woman who would bear their children.  It became important to make sure their woman weren’t seeing someone else because resources were considered to be limited and he could afford only to raise his own kids.  The village was no longer functioning as community of care.

Our health deteriorated, too, because of the increasing negativity and stress.  And death became the ultimate limitation and cause of fear.  True spirituality was replaced by fear inducing religions.

The beautiful sense of connection to all that was was replaced with the painful sense of separation.  Love was no longer a basic condition of life but became a commodity.  Sex became a dirty word tainted with shame.  Joy and gratitude evaporated and jealousy set in.

This change to negativity is commonly referred to as the “Fall” in various legends.  (Legends are our soul memories told as stories.)  In the beginning, we were all lightworkers, but with the Fall, some became darkworkers whose main interest was to serve themselves at the expense of others.  Darkworkers use the idea of lack and manipulate others with negativity such as fear, anger, guilt, shame, etc. to manipulate others.

Some well-developed lightworkers knew this was just a BS, but many many lightworkers fell prey and got confused.

The difference between lightworkers and darkworkers

There is no substance called darkness. Darkness is the lack of light. So we all find ourselves somewhere in the spectrum of light.  On one end there are those who are fully aligned with Light, the lightworkers.  On the opposite end are those who are completely shut down from Light, the darkworkers.  In the middle, there are confused lightworkers who often engage in negativity and wishy washy darkworkers who can’t engage in negativity full time.

Now remember this Light is also the Source of life energy?  So darkworkers have serious problem for survival – they need to get energy from sources other than the true Source.  The only way they can do this is to suck up the energy of others.

Again, they do this by seeding negativity such as fear, anger, guilt, shame, and jealousy in others.

What is value?

Basically, whatever someone else wants is value.  Nutrition for the physical body is value.  Education to train our mind is value.  A beautiful song that brings out tender feeling is value.  Spiritual healing is value.

As a business owner, I want accounting service to free up my time so accounting service is value.  The computer, internet, and all the programs someone wrote are value.

Flattery for ego boost is also value, whether it’s an honest one or not.  Weapon is value to darkworkers – a very tangible one, it kills people.

However, I am a lightworker.  So here, we will talk about lightworker value, or positive value.

What is lightworker value?

Lightworker value is about releasing the energy that are stuck in negativity and bringing it back to Light. Currently there are a lot of energy sucked up by darkworkers.

For example, think of someone who wants to become an energy healer, like the Reconnection practitioner, but is afraid of quitting his corporate paycheck job.  Lots of energy stuck in his fear.  Let’s say he reads my article on entrepreneurship and gets inspired enough to let go of his fear.  Now the energy that was previously captured in the darkness of fear is freed up and it will shine in the world.  His energy has converted to something valuable and useful, and I delivered value assisting this process.

Any work that releases the stuck energy from negativity such as fear, anger, guilt, shame, and jealousy and
bring it back to Light, to positive energy flow of love, joy, peace, harmony, and spiritual awareness is of lightworker value:

  • When you write an article that inspires others to overcome their fear, or an article that educates others how to recognize the BS of manipulation, you are bringing lightworker value.
  • When you create a beautiful piece of art that resonates deep into the viewer’s heart and reminds them our original state of harmony, you are bringing lightworker value.
  • When you build a successful business that saves customers’ time and energy, thereby freeing up their energy for better use, you are bringing lightworker value.
  • When you assist other lightworkers who are bringing value to others, such as doing administrative work for them, you are indirectly bringing lightworker value.

Hunter uses the tale of two bricklayers to illustrate the last case.  You could be just mindlessly laying bricks to get paid or you could be a member of cathedral building team.

Personally, my mission is:

  1. Assist the more or less confused lightworkers liberate themselves from negativity. One way I do this is through my Akashic Record Reading and its clearing.  I also hope this Yes to Me blog aspires the readers.
  2. Assist the wishy washy kind darkworkers return to Light, if they so wish.  Again through my Akashic Record Reading.

make money

But how can we make money by delivering value?

Here is a secret of making money:  De-focus on money.

Because money is like a shadow.  It’s not real.  Sure the greenbacks are real, but that is not what you really want, right?  You want what money can do, the purchasing power of the money.  Because of this purchasing capability of money, money also represents security or freedom.  But I am yet to meet someone who likes greenbacks themselves, except for hobby purpose.   They are just crinkly sheets of paper. (Photo by TW Collins)

If money is a shadow, what is casting the shadow?  What is the real thing?  Value.

In your effort to make money, you can take one of the following two approaches:

  1. Chase money, which is like chasing shadows. Depending on how the light is cast, shadows move a lot and confuse you.  And even when you come so close and believe you have caught it, it escapes you so easily.  It’s a shadow.  You can’t hold onto shadow.
  2. Focus on value. Value is invisible but real.  Figure out what kind of value you can deliver, and deliver it.  This may take some time and soul searching effort, but leads to real results.

How does delivering value bring in money?

Because everything in the Universe is energy, value is a form of energy.  We can’t really “create” value.  That is just a way of saying.  Crating value means creating products or services that deliver value.  (Even I, who has little idea of math and physics, know energy only changes forms, but can’t be created nor eliminated.  Energy only circulates, changing forms.)

What we really do, as lightworkers, is to assist someone release their energy from negativity.  Or assist other lightworkers do this.

When we deliver value, a form of energy, it creates flow of energy. Outflow invites inflow.  Another form of energy comes along, either from the recipient of the value or from other sources.  This is where it gets really fun.

We all know receiving money in exchange to the value we deliver.  But we can also receive money from other sources.  Ad income for popular bloggers is an excellent example.  I bet there are other ways as well.

On the practical level, we need to set up a way, a system, to deliver value – consistently high value, hopefully.  This is where business experts like marketing whiz Naomi Dunford comes into the picture, delivering her value.  But she can only assist you when you have decided to make money this way.  It’s your job to choose which money making approach  you want and what kind of value you want to deliver.

My new soul’s resolution to show abundance to the world

I know some people are still thinking, “Well, that all sounds nice, but I’m not sure. . .  I’m afraid.”  So I want to show that I, as a lightworker, can make good money.  This is my new soul’s resolution.

I have completed my new year resolution of extending love in my business and beyond.  Maybe that is why I had the honor of getting a new soul.  I now know there is nothing in my life that is not love.  Love is a foundation, not a special day treat.

So I’d like a new resolution (can you tell time is speeding up?), and that is to show spirituality and wealth can be, and are, compatible.

Lightwork and Light Ascension

Some say that, when we restore sufficient amount of energy to Light, the original blueprint of Earth will be restored, and we will see a new version of utopia.  This is one way of defining Light Ascension.  I find this idea interesting and inspiring.  I don’t know this for sure, but I am observing so many soul situations like the special soul shifting cases in my practice that were previously considered – well, previously it was not even considered or imagined in any way really.  So I figure anything can be possible.

Another notable thing that I just noticed recently is that many of those wishy washy darkworkers (there are more professional sounding terminology, but let me keep things simple for general readability) are returning to their original lightworker blueprint.  I don’t know why or how they are doing this, so don’t send me those “Why SHOULD they . . .” questions.

And just to make sure, this utopia is not the communism.  Communism is about totalitarian control, based deeply in fear.  On the contrary, I am talking about the kind of utopia where each of us express our unique gifts, which immediately and naturally serves others.

Take your side and polarize

We all had enough learning experience with this illusion of lack.  By now we know what abundance is in contrast to scarcity and how fun it is to invite and enjoy abundance.  I think it is time to complete our learning by leaving negativity and polarizing in Light.

This is where taking side matters.  Staying in the middle of the light spectrum, being neutral or mix, doing lightwork sometimes and darkwork at other times, means messing up the energy flow and therefore effectively stuck.  No good.

So take your side. Choose if you want to deliver lightworker positive value or darkworker negative value.  Choose love, joy, abundance, and harmony or choose lack and fear.  Polarize consciously.

This post is part of Jeremy Day’s group writing project on creating value.

The post that I promissed to Hunter in the comment below is now published as My Spiritual Make Money Scheme.

Do you find this blog inspiring?

Please check About page to learn more about this blog and the author, Akemi Gaines.


28 Responses to “What The Heaven Is Value?”

  1. sumiran on January 31st, 2009 4:37 pm

    Indeed nice post. I appreciate your passion in writing such a comprehensive post. Your writing reminded me of ‘ The Warrior of Light’ by Paulo.
    I have one curiosity. You mentioned on ” ..secret of making money: De-focus on money.” How do you fit your arguments with now-days popular theory- The law of attraction..”you with acquire the thing which you focus on ..”. According to law of attraction if you focus on value you will rewarded by value which is not necessarily the money.

  2. Hunter Nuttall on January 31st, 2009 9:12 pm

    I was hoping you’d write about lightworkers and darkworkers sometime, and this post was fantastic. That original utopia sounds pretty nice! It’s hard to imagine that lack is just an illusion, but I’d sure like to live in a world without it. I hope your berries will be enough to get anything you want! Thanks for the links (link love can be abundant because there are always more links to give).

  3. Adrianne - Awareness Blooms on February 1st, 2009 10:06 am

    Hi Akemi,

    I enjoy your treatment of the word ascension here – I want to create my world to be more like the utopia you describe! Where things can get a little stuck though is when I think I have to take the rest of the world with me. I know that we are all connected and inherently all one but I’m not going to wait for the entire rest of consciousness to agree with me before I choose to fully create that world as my experience. Does that make sense? We each get to pursue our unique version of utopia. And the ripples of energy that that self-centered (in a good way) approach toward personal joy make end up effecting positive change in the whole as well.

    Love and light,

    Adrianne – Awareness Bloomss last blog post..6 Keys to Developing Your Clairsentience

  4. Anthony Lawrence on February 1st, 2009 3:54 pm

    You do realize that we understand WHY dying people “report seeing bright white light”? Google for “NDE ketamine” if you don’t.

    As for the rest, it indeed would be a wonderful world if we were as sharing and selfless as the fantasy above. It would also be a world in which we never even got to the point of building huts, cultivating anything, making beads or indeed anything beyond a base animal existence. Competition, greed and your “dark side” are what built civilization. It has its downsides, but hot water, refrigerators, antibiotics, window screens and flush toilets have a lot going for them..

    That doesn’t say that we wouldn’t be better off with a little less selfishness and a little more selfless cooperation. But there’s no utopia coming. In fact, given the current conditions, we’ll be seeing plenty of “dark side” for at least a few years and probably much longer. Please do try to hold on to your ideals or at least their shreds while we go through that..

  5. akemi on February 1st, 2009 5:58 pm

    Yeah, and that is fine, right? Or do you want money than value?
    Okay, when you want to utilize law of attraction to you favor, you need to line up all your thoughts, feeling, and beliefs. Does the image of piles of crinkly paper bills excite you and make you genuinely happy? Piles on gold is somewhat better, but for me, that doesn’t do it really. I’d much prefer the freedom of doing what I like doing every day. So I focus on freedom and what I want to do, and somehow the amount of money to support this lifestyle flows in to me.

    When you focus on money, you probably feel rather negative feelings that you have learned in your life so far, and that works against you getting the money.

    Really? You still see lack? Give me an example and I’ll incorporate it in my future post. (Be it YOUR lack, not like starving children in Africa. Because that is a different issue. You don’t really know about those kids.)

    I don’t think we have to take the rest of the world in ascension. I don’t know exactly how this will work out, but as you say, we are individually responsible for our spiritual development and our life. Those who want to stay in the dark can do so.

    You really stick around, huh? Thanks for your encouragement. But this is not quite “ideal” — I’m like at least one third way there, the kind of work, money, people, stuffs, place to live, come to me pretty spontaneously. And I’m sure I can move forward on this. As I mentioned above, however, I am not responsible taking the rest of the world with me.

  6. akemi on February 1st, 2009 6:15 pm

    BTW I don’t think we want to GO BACK to the primitive cavemen lifestyle. We can create another version of utopia with all the technologies we have now and some more. And we don’t need fear and greed to develop technologies any more. For example, did internet develop out of lack? I don’t think so — in fact, it is operating more and more on the principle of abundance. I share my tips free here because I like writing, and somehow it goes around and (in my case indirectly) provide me with clients. Some freely share their writing and make money with ads. I’m sure shareware writers are making money somehow, too. etc.

  7. Adrianne - Awareness Blooms on February 1st, 2009 7:33 pm

    I recently came across a definition for abundance that I like so much, here it is: “abundance is the ability to do what you need to do when you need to do it.” I got this from a Bashar video I saw on you tube recently. It helps me to open myself up to and be grateful for all the ways abundance – not just money – could flow to me and already has. BTW Akemi, congratulations on the completion of your new year’s resolution! I really look forward to what you have to say in the future on the new resolution to show compatibility of spirituality and wealth.

    Love and light,

  8. Anthony Lawrence on February 2nd, 2009 4:15 am

    The Internet was created for war. That’s as “dark” as it gets.

    You misread me on “ideals”. I mean that you are going to find it difficult to keep up your fantasy of a coming utopia as we fall into economic turmoil.

    Greed isn’t going to go away. Nor is cruelty, hatred, discrimination, slavery, abuse.. humans are what they are. We can do much to help improve that, of course. But it will come (if at all) from our efforts, not from mystical nonsense. Wishing and hoping for a “Light Ascension” is going to give you nothing but bitter disappointment. Better to actually do something positive than to dwell in fantasy.

  9. Dot on February 2nd, 2009 7:20 am

    Very interesting and hopeful post! I look forward to reading more as things progress.

    @Anthony: “The Internet was created for war. That’s as “dark” as it gets.” Correction: The Internet was created for defense.

  10. Anthony Lawrence on February 2nd, 2009 7:28 am

    “Correction: The Internet was created for defense.”

    An unimportant distinction in my mind, but if you think it’s meaningful, that’s fine.

  11. akemi on February 2nd, 2009 8:15 am

    While I appreciate everyone’s comments, I also expect all commenters to be respectful to one another. I care about my readers experience here at Yes to Me.
    You put down Winnie, who I think made a great point about science and the new discoveries in past life therapy, and now you put down Dot. One more offense, and I will put you on comment moderation list.

    You don’t need to agree with me or anyone. I appreciate all kinds of feedback. But please be respectful to others. Thank you.

  12. Anthony Lawrence on February 2nd, 2009 8:35 am

    I think you are entirely too sensitive if you think I “put down” anyone.

    However, if someone thinks I meant anything rude, I apologize: I had no such intent.

    But I stand by my statements. This is all fantasy and nonsense – I’ve tried very hard to avoid saying that plainly as I know you would be offended, but that is the simple truth. As I’ve said before, there is nothing inherently wrong with such beliefs if you are not using them to harm other people or yourself, but it asks too much to expect me to respect such silliness and give it any validity.

    I think I’m done here anyway. It’s getting a bit too weird for me, sorry..

  13. Hunter Nuttall on February 2nd, 2009 4:05 pm

    @ Akemi,

    “Really? You still see lack? Give me an example and I’ll incorporate it in my future post.”

    Well yeah, I see lack. For one thing, I have no income. Isn’t that a pretty big lack?

  14. akemi on February 2nd, 2009 7:13 pm

    Okay, I will think and write about it in a post later.

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  20. Daphne on February 19th, 2009 9:11 pm

    Hi Akemi,

    I took your advice in your comment on my site and read the blurb under your photo in the sidebar and followed the link here. This was a fascinating read, and though long it held my interest all the way. I also read the comments and it’s great when your ideas create controversy because it means you’re saying something new and different from what people are used to.

    This whole concept of lightworkers and darkworkers is new to me. Even after reading your posts, and some on Steve Pavlina’s site previously, I cannot claim to fully understand the source of such thoughts, the current applications or the implications. I’m keeping my mind open at the moment and so reserve judgment or any personal opinion. I’m looking forward to learning more, as I’m sure I will from your future posts.

  21. akemi on February 20th, 2009 8:42 am

    That’s it — keep your open mind. I will write more on this. And if you have any questions, let me know.

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  24. Creating The New World, Part 1 Love | Yes to Me on April 2nd, 2009 9:13 pm

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  27. vickie1111 on August 20th, 2009 11:33 pm

    i had a honey like resin coming from my crown chakra, it lasted 7 days, i have never seen anything written about this and feel i am one in a million who have this experience, i would love to hear some thoughts about it from any of you. it was sticky like honey and clear.
    i have had many awakenings in my lifetime this one was very different from anything i have ever had the pleasure to experience.

    we are all in a constant state of evolving, energy is only transferred never lost. only your spirit goes with you when you leave this clay body, so really what matters most is that we learn and grow. now what also matters is the evolution of the earth as it is a planet that we are so lucky to experience, so it is up to us not to destroy it and create a place for all other beings to come here to enjoy.

    also i must add never limit God we are here to learn to see to touch to feel and we should always remember our souls purpose…in otherwords we must not forget to live life to the fullest. to never overlook all the creation and feelings we feel. to really know love is key to all things good.

    life=birth and death
    dream=sleep and walking
    trance=dualistic and consciousness and enlightened awareness
    death point=life and reality
    reality=death point and existence
    existence=reality and birth


  28. Mett on October 10th, 2010 12:10 pm

    Your site speaks deeply to me. It touches my heart. Filled with truth and inspiration. I’ve been asking my questions since I was 15. My desire for lust and materiale things were non existent though I find myself to be told im great in bed and have everything my heart could desire, at the moment. Something I learned is you should always desire and want. Never stand still, push pull climb to your desire.

    I had a extremly bad awakening process when I was 21. It was bad in the sense that I had no idea what I was seeing. I lacked the understanding and ability to interpret. This drove me insane. To see the dark forces in people on a spiritual level my mind interpreted it as ‘demon’ and to see the light i saw ‘angels’. Random people would come up to me and have conversations I felt always had a hidden message or meaning. I worked at a gas station and held the door open for this guy and he liked my presense so much he offered my a $30,000 starting salary job – making 50 in two. I asked about benefits he said it takes a couple months to kick in but i’ll give it to you when you start. People were treating me different with this immense amount of energy I had inside me. Females were very attracted to me.

    I had a drive to do something more. I spoke to everyone. I made someone cry with tears of joy. I also scared an old lady just by looking in her eyes (she jumped). She was a church going female I sensed.

    I worked at a gas station and my manager said something to get me angry and I went inside and said “Today is not the day to get me mad” and walked out. Seconds later all the gas pumps stopped working, computers inside were bugging out and the fire alarm was going off. Things tasted different to me. I craved vegetables like some would crave a cheese burger. My love was endless, truly.

    Other secret lightworkers tried to help me but I did not have the ability to listen so well. They tried so hard which I am eternally grateful and thankful for. Not truly knowing what I was going through I grew frustrated with the world and the people in it for not seeing what I saw. Sadly frustration lead to anger and confusion. Confusion lead to paranoia. Paranoia is the endall. I’m not sure what took place but something took control of my body because I said things and did things I dont remember. I remember the exact moment but they told me I said this while I remember getting up and doing something, ‘superhuman’ like. My voice also grew incredibly deeper.

    I know now I am my own boss…i love the whole superhero thing..superman batman. We’ve been trained since we were young to remember…Like He-Man – we are the masters of our universe. Like superman…an alien pretending to be human.

    I’ve always had the desire to fight but I cant fight without just cause. The rage I feel when someone has done something wrong to another is overwhelming. But it doesn’t feel like anger because anger clouds your mind. This feeling is passion. This passion allows me to focus very clearly. I learned that I am the anti-bully. I realize only the weak pick on the weak. I choose to stop them. I picked the smallest kid in school and made the choice to defend him from everybody. I seem to “work” better when it is in service to others. That was when I was 14 and I am 25 now and still remain friends with him. He is a light worker he just doesn’t know it…he wants to be a teacher though.

    Another thing I remember from working at the gas station was my boss told me someone has been stealing the oil from outside and wanted to keep a look out. I feel I work better on command as well. So as I was working I felt my chakras roar and surge with energy but they were roaring and pulling me towards a specific person. This person was putting oil in his girlfriends car. I asked if he paid for it he said “Yea, i paid inside, ask Dominc”. I raido’ed inside and asked if he paid for the oil and he said yea. I said ok. I knew this was BS…I let him leave and stopped what I was doing to ask again in person to Dominic if he paid for the oil he said “No, I thought you said gas”.

    I would also have ridiculously long conversations with people about there problems. I am convinced now that i had severly over active chakras especialy the crown. I started absorbing energy from the wind unknowingly because I liked to drive with my hand out the window and it felt good. Felt energetic.

    This awakening happened when I met this female and we had great sex. It woke me up and every female I like on a soul level and have sex with I can read them and I read things about her that drove me to want to change the world for her. My love for her was endless. The impossible burden I willingly put on myself drove me pass the edge of sanity and into the realm of hallucinations.

    When I would see a negative soul there eyes looked black and blood red to me. When a negative soul would talk to me on the phone there voice sounded like an animal. Phone would ring all the time with a disconnected call back number. I was working and saw this huge shadow fly across the pavement and I looked up and nothing was there. I drove home and saw the same shadow fly across the pavement with a dead bird outside the house. True paranoia filled my mind. Every negative seed was planted in my mind.

    It drove me to a mental facility. I blacked out for the first three days as I was sedated and in the level of sedation I told the doctors that I was some ‘Universal Protector’ on a mission. I woke up and looked at this crayon board on the wall and it was filled with beautfil writings and drawings. I looked at one of the writings and it said “money was the root of all evil” with a arrow to the root of a flower. I came to realize I’ve been the only one in that room because they thought I was dangerous and I drew those pictures and wrote those words. The words on the board were my thoughts. The thing is I don’t even like to color and was never really good at it.

    I was sedated for years. I felt I lost a piece of my heart because of the drugs I was giving to suppress my higher self. My experience was a blessing because I learned so much and met so many people. Many/All in the mental hospital are spiritually out of tune. The Buddha said to have anything you must loose everything.

    Doctor thought I was schizophrenic with a severe case of bi-polar. When you go to a shrink dont tell him you see ‘angels’. Now im not schizophrenic with a moderate case of bi-polar. Which I came to agree with because I diagnosed myself as bi-polar when I was 16.

    Now, I work construction and I look at all I have and at one point in time what I have came from my imagination. I believe I can read the ether or whatever you may call it. I just dont realize it. When I talk to people they have a problem and I’m able to tell them things about there personality that is causing the problem. I also ‘see’ the world for what it is and hear spiritual truth on tv, radio, people…sometimes even the wind when it blows at a specific time. I just pay attention to how it makes me feel. When I hear messages from tv or radio specific words sound different to me. They stand out and I feel myself interpreting them. I can look into someones eyes and look how spiritually evolved they or if they are troubled. A troubled or de-evolved soul will have trouble maintaining light so there eyes to me are not big and bright. For the de-evoled i see grey clouds in there eyes when the light reflects off of them.

    I felt the need to write this because I’ve never told anyone about it before, my dark past of my first uncontrolled awakening. It is important to learn as much as possible so you can gain a better understanding of things to come. Someone people should also know is all you have to do is ask a question and you will get your answer. Variations of how the answer will come. Movie, book, friend, bill board. Universe talks through all means of interactive concept.

    I went from being drugged like a zombie,having everybody tell me what I saw was not real, casting every seed of doubt possible and ballooning to 260 from the medication to be more fit now at 175 and having more of a direction and sense of purpose in life. Even on the medication my heart burned with a desire to be set free. I asked it to show me the way and it showed me what I need to read, eat, buy. I attribute all of my weight loss to mind over body techniques. Positive affirmations and the law of attraction. I learned the movie “The Secret” is extremely watered down.

    My point is…any and everything is possible and this world will change because in order to change this world you have to change yourself to be the example. Realize you are an extension. You are source energy, with a personality.