Are you embracing your uniqueness wholeheartedly?

It’s easier said than done. If you are like many people, you have heard the mantra of how important it is to do this, yet have stubborn resistance to practice it.

I’m no exception. In this post, let me share one of my “uniqueness” that, for a long time, I considered as less than desirable and how I came to terms with it. My hope is that, by sharing my experience, you’d feel comfortable and encouraged to embrace your own uniqueness.

It’s almost two years ago when I contributed my post Accepting and Loving our Uniqueness at Urban Monk. In that article, I confessed how I felt about my foreign accent. I’ve felt shy about speaking up, especially to strangers, because of my accent. Now mind you, my accent isn’t too bad. Most people have no problem understanding me. There are so many occasions these day when American people have to deal with internationals that they have learned how to listen to us. (Good grief!)

Challenges in embracing your uniqueness

Still there are times when someone points out how imperfect my English is. They are not necessarily mean people who are out to put down others. Some have been my close friends. For instance, I hired a personal finance coach last fall to assist me in making a few decisions. I have known her through her blog for some time. And she is brilliant and kind. Yet at the last session, she remarked, “You might want to improve your articulation of English. Maybe you should seek help with a speech pathologist.” That felt like a huge lumber suddenly hitting me in the middle. I wasn’t prepared for such a comment. I was depressed for several days.

I’m sharing this not to blame her or other people who have pointed out my accent. I’m sharing it because I suspect many of you have had similar experiences. You certainly have a few qualities, or personal quarks, that you see as your “uniqueness”. Perhaps you cannot do certain things in the standard way, like me speaking English. Perhaps you can do something so well it stands out oddly. Perhaps your opinions are so different they surprise your peers all the time even though you don’t intend to be different. And you have received remarks that hit you and depress you.

As a result, you may have concluded uniqueness is a problem, a liability, something you must cover up so that you can be accepted in the society.

Your inner judgment is hurting you

When someone points out your uniqueness and puts you down, it’s easy to think the other person, the one who made hurting comments, is too judgmental. But I dare tell you — the biggest judgment is sitting right within you.

In my case, my judgment about my own accent was the biggest issue. Sure, I formed my judgment based on the feedback I received from others, but once the judgment is in me, it was mine, and it multiplied the pain when I received more criticisms.

If I am truly comfortable with my background and therefore my accent, if I am really embracing my uniqueness, I’d be okay even when an uninformed person points out my difference. But I’ve been secretly afraid that my accent would make me look less intelligent, less appropriate, and less worthy.

How I came to embrace my uniqueness

Something changed within me recently. I started to think I am okay as I am.

I cannot pinpoint what brought this change. I think it’s a combination of many things. The big part is having friends who like me for who I am. Blogging has helped me a big deal in this.

Another part is me dropping my other judgments. I used to have many judgments. I’m an idealist. And for an idealist, the world and the people in the world fall short. For instance, when I saw overweight people, I couldn’t help feeling, “That is so unhealthy. And there are good ways to lose weight in a healthy way. Why are you staying that way? You don’t like it yourself, do you?” I never said this, but this kind of thoughts was always within me. Not any more. These days, when I go out, I just feel close to everyone I see, most of them strangers.

Finding my voice

Have you checked my last post The Most Important Message? That’s the first time I spoke up voluntarily to the general public. Speaking with my friends has been easy. Speaking to my Akashic Record Reading clients has been fine, too, because I know they are motivated to hear what I have to say about their Akashic Records. Plus, in phone sessions, if they don’t understand something I say, they can ask right away. I can explain or spell it out.

However, letting my voice and my accent heard over the internet was a big deal for me. Kind of like volunteering to show off my arm flab on the internet. I didn’t have to do it. But you know what? I actually enjoyed making that video. I guess something is indeed changing within me. And I think I’m the one who enjoys that message of love the most.

And the surprising thing is some people seem to like my voice, including the accent. I have received comments that my signature voice helps the message to sink in. I guess it’s like a funny face may be more interesting and memorable to remember than a perfectly symmetrical model face.

Are you embracing and celebrating your uniqueness?

What is your uniqueness that you have considered to be no good? Is that judgment true? Can you –no, will you choose to embrace and even celebrate your uniqueness? It’s really all up to you, whether you want to condemn your uniqueness or embrace it. The uniqueness is there — what do you want to do with it?

Why do we want to embrace our uniqueness? Because embracing your uniqueness is the start of loving yourself as you are. And until we completely love ourselves as we are right here and now, we cannot grow any further spiritually. Forced growth is a fake growth that will burst sooner or later, like the recent years’ stock market growth and burst. On the other hand, when we completely love ourselves, growth naturally happens. Self love is the foundation of all love and life.

Love yourself, with uniqueness and everything. Not the you that you would become when you love 10 lb or when you master that skill or when you get that job. Love the you that you are now and celebrate your uniqueness.

Bonus reading: Is your uniqueness related to body image?  Check out this brilliant post Loving Our Bodies At Any Size.

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