Creating The New World, Part 1 Love
April 2, 2009 by Akemi · 21 Comments
Do you create your life freely or do you live within the limits of the existing system? Do you realize you have the power to change the system, and eventually the whole world, when you make a change that is not limited by the existing system?
I want to dream big and write about how we can create the New World based on the foundation of love, light, truth, abundance and power. Because big dreams inspire us and provide us the essential direction of our lives. How can we make the decision of which road to take when we don’t know the big picture and the overall direction?
Plus Ascension provides us the rare opportunity to change. We live in a special time when significant change is possible.
What love is not
First we need to know what love is. And few words have been abused as badly as the word love.
1. You don’t know what love is if you think unconditional love is special.
If you think there is unconditional love, which is a better kind than other kinds of love, let me ask you: What is love that is not unconditional? What is conditional love?
- I love you if you (lose 10 lb, quit complaining, help me more around the house, etc.)
- If you love me, you would (stop drinking, work harder, etc.)
These are just forms of manipulation, in the name of love. I know most of us have been conditioned with this from childhood, but let’s make it clear this has nothing to do with love.
2. You don’t know what love is if you sacrifice yourself in the name of love.
Love starts with self love. There is just no way to love others while ignoring your own worthiness or letting yourself abused. And if you think self love conflicts with love for others, look around carefully. Love gets stronger with more love. Conflict is an illusion made from the fear of scarcity.
3. You don’t know what love is if you think love is about holding hands and not saying anything uncomfortable.
Uncomfortable to whom? To that person or yourself? You may say you don’t say certain things because you care about that person’s feelings. Well, I care about people’s feelings, too, but I also know that, when someone think in this line, they are usually hiding the truth, and the truth is they don’t say it because it makes themselves uncomfortable.
We sure don’t need to offend people’s feelings unnecessarily. But hiding the truth under the name of love is very unloving.
Loving darkworkers
The last point leads to the issue of darkworkers. It sounds nicer to say that there is no such thing like darkworkers and we are all good loving souls, hug one another, and ignore the energy sucking dramas some of us are acting out. But is it true? And is it helpful even to the darkworkers themselves?
It’s helpful for darkworkers to continue their way, yes. If they are to come back to Light, however, they get the best chance when people around them set up a clear boundary so that the darkworkers cannot get any energy from them. Tough love, sure, but what is the point of covering up their acts?
This is not about fixing them. Let them be who they are but put your self-love in place. Awareness of what is really going on, factually and energetically, is the start of love.
Then what is love?
My definition is love is the awareness that we are valuable for our individual uniqueness and yet we are all part of the whole. I love you for who you are. No need to change unless you yourself wish to change. And together we make a union that is more than the sum.
We are like parts of one body. The kidney is valuable for its unique function, and so is the heart. The heart doesn’t put down the kidney because it deals with urine. Our respective uniqueness is our strength — we don’t need kidney to become more like the heart.
Sometimes, a part of the body starts doing strange things. It starts to suck up energy from the surrounding area, making the area difficult to function fully. We don’t need to hate this part of the body, but we do want to focus on our ability to function fully and give our attention to the working parts, not the malfunctioning parts. This is how we “love” darkworkers.
But what about romantic love and relationship?
I think romantic relationship and family unions in the New World will be very different. I’m not against the idea of romantic love — it’s a beautiful form of love — but I do think the consequent idea of romantic relationship and the institution of marriage are abused badly.
Think for a moment. If the New World operates on the foundation of love:
- Do you need someone to assure your worthiness by being with you?
Of course you don’t. You already love yourself as you are. - Do you need someone to promise to be with you for the rest of your life?
You don’t need to force love and security in such a way. Relationship is best when it is based on free will, at any given time. And forced love is not love, whether it is forced by yourself or by others. - Do you need to form a secure haven called family?
If the outside world is a savage cruel place, it makes sense to build a safe small haven, and this has been one of the major function of family. But if the New World is all about love, where is the danger?
So what is the role of romantic relationship and marriage in the New World? While we operate on the big love, it’s also good to form close connections so that we can get to know each other better and we can share ourselves readily. Romantic relationships can be one of those relationships, along with others like friendships.
We’ll loosen up a big time in forming and maintaining romantic relationships. You may have just one partner or multiple of them at any given time in your life. Your living arrangement can be flexible, too, beyond the traditional form of living with your family. If you enjoy being close to others, you may choose to live in something like a co-op that is formed on the basis of shared interest (say, similar eating or exercise habits, or artist co-op that shares studio space, etc). If you like traveling, you can do so. Or you may like solitary living arrangement. Whatever you choose, you are accepted and loved.
Sexuality in the New World
Romantic relationship and marriage are considered to be the only “correct” forms of sexual relationship at this time. So when we loosen up our idea of relationship, what happens? Do we become promiscuous?
First, it’s important to realize that your sexuality is yours. It’s not your partner’s nor of some authority in government or religion. You decide the when, with whom, how. This is especially important for women. Do not let the conventional “you are either a madonna or a whore” idea limit you.
Next let’s admit we get into the act for many reasons other than love and pleasure. Have you had sex with hidden agenda like:
- To prove you are (attractive, strong, worthy of attention, etc.)?
- To control your partner (to keep them to you, to get them do something, etc.)?
- To distract yourself (from boredom, loneliness, frustration at work, etc.)?
All these conditions will be worked out when we operate on the foundation of love. So sex with hidden agenda will go away.
Contrary to the promiscuous sex-overloaded society that some people may have thought when I said “New World based on love”, I think we may have a lot less sex in the New World. When you realize you are free to choose the type of sexual relationship, and you don’t need to bring in hidden agenda — when you choose to have sex just because you feel like it or to share some fun and pleasure with your partner — I think the demand would naturally decrease. Of course, it’s also quite fine if you are into providing joy big time.
How to bring in the New World
First, I want to emphasize it is totally counterproductive to think of the New World as how things SHOULD be. The should mentality, the expectation, automatically put it off to some unknown place in time and space. The time to start the New World is NOW.
Here are some things you can do today to bring in the New World:
1. Forgive yourself and others so that you can start anew. Forgiveness is a form of self love.
2. Live in gratitude. Gratitude is an expression of love. Don’t discuss how important gratitude is; say thank you to your loved ones, to things around you, to nature, to life.
3. Talk about the new way of life with your loved ones — your relationship partner, family, and friends. Embracing the possibility is the first step of actually living it.
4. Allow more and more love in your life. Do you do what you love to do? Do you talk to yourself with kindness even when things turn difficult? Do you spend time with people you really like? Do you express your love in a simple, straight-forward way without fear?
5. For each person you interact with, find some unique gifts they have and tell them how much you appreciate them. We can use a lot of assistance in realizing our beautiful qualities in us.
The “gift” doesn’t have to be some holy, noble, rare quality. For instance, a pretty smile is something we can treasure. (Do you realize how so many people, both men and women, would be delighted to hear how cute they are?)
6. Think more ways to cooperate rather than compete. If you are in business, are there ways you can work with others in the same or related fields that would benefit all involved? If you are studying something, can you also teach each other? Competition is based on scarcity and fear. Cooperation brings in more love and abundance.
7. Try something new. This requires self love and assurance, and in tern reinforces the same. And you will meet more people to love, learn more things to love.
8. Are there people in your neighborhood who would benefit from extra attention and care, such as older people, single parent with small children, etc? Why not strike up a casual conversation and let them know you are happy to help when they need something? You might be delighted to find how something small and easy to do for you can be appreciated so much. Offer your love and kindness freely.
Kids really belong to the “village” and we all want to be looking over them. Your community being safe and operating on love will expand to larger community.
9. When you go shopping, talk with the cashier. Treat the storekeepers like real people. Eventually, get to know them as your friend. Same with the bus drivers, the librarians, the customer service reps who answer your 800 calls, etc.
10. If you are in abusive relationship, whether it is romantic relationship or family situation or work related, please have the courage to leave. You are doing a disservice not just to yourself but to the whole by staying there. First, stop participating in their drama. This will likely make them more abusive in their attempt to get your energy, which will prompt you to leave finally.
11. Again, offer your loving words and actions freely. Let go of your agenda. Let’s talk, hug, kiss, and make love with no expectations but just because. Also, feel free to say no.
Love and the fifth dimension
Some people say the fifth dimension is love. I thought about this — length, width, height, time and . . . love?
What I think is there is no polarity in the fifth dimension. Everything is in alignment, and we call this love. In a sense, polarities have helped us learn our life lessons by providing contrast. But as we progress in Ascension and graduate from the school of life, we don’t need polarity any longer. We can just be. This is the ultimate destination we want to take our New World.
Does this mean we are going back to the original utopia like I described in that article? Not quite. I don’t think nature repeats exactly the same way. In the New World, we will be living in love similar to the original utopia but in a more conscious way.
Do you have more ideas to bring in the New World of love? What do you think of my vision of the New World? Let me know by leaving your comment ^_^ (Photo by carf)
Are You Afraid To Express Yourself In Business?
February 24, 2008 by Akemi · 17 Comments
I call it the I Factor. I as in I Am.
In Professional Networking: It’s Not Just Who You Know, I wrote about how various networking efforts work toward the big goal of bringing people to the “I know you, you know me” relationship, which is the most fruitful of all relationships. Once you get to this relationship that allows mutual communication, you want to deepen the relationship and maintain it well. Pay attention to each word — “I know you” means I care to know who you are. “You know me” means I will let you know me who I really am.
Abandon the idea that you can somehow trick others to believe you (and your products / services) to be someone you are not. Such trick won’t work, not in the long run, and not worth the effort anyway. Nor the pretence of a smiley face will substitute genuine caring for the people you are dealing with. So here is something we know deep inside yet seldom discussed in business workshops. . .
Self-Love is the basis of marketing, and business in general.
If you are not comfortable with yourself, people will sense it. They will know consciously or subconsciously, and your relationship, both business and personal, will be affected accordingly. And this is far more than just words. I know plenty of people who say they have a high self-esteem and, at the same time, are so afraid of expressing themselves. They say something like, “Oh, I’ll do it when I get a degree / lose 5 pounds / or (fill in the blank).” I’d say we, each one of us, get comfortable with ourselves right now. With all the imperfections.
When we love ourselves as we are, we can extend our caring to others.
Simple. And yes, I know how challenging this is. When and how did loving ourselves and others get so difficult?
Let’s go back in our time and think, for a moment, how we felt about ourselves and others as a baby. Did we love ourselves and others then? I am thinking about my friend’s little boy. He seems to know love. He looks happy when he is held by his mother, when he sees toys, or when – most of the time. He is a happy baby who smiles at everyone. Sure, he cries, too – really badly when he is hungry, wet, or plain bored. But he doesn’t seem to carry grudge. He doesn’t get upset like, “Well, you are not feeding me quickly enough. You are not a good parent. I don’t like you.” Instead, he simply gets happy when he gets fed. Is this because he doesn’t remember his hunger he went through a few minutes ago? No, he is capable of remembering his mother, or even me. He just knows love, and doesn’t know non-love. Because he only knows love, he probably doesn’t know he knows love. I guess this is how we were initially, no matter how our parents and circumstances were. We knew love, including self-love. So what happened since? In my case, I had no clue about love by the time I entered adolescence, and I was also strongly questioning if I was worthy of love . . .
Worthy of love? Do I need to clear certain requirements to be worthy of love?
Maybe even to get the love from myself? This appears to be the mainstream thinking. When I was getting divorced, my counselor emphasized the importance of self-respect, and asked me to write down the qualities I liked about myself. You know, like the fact I have a college degree, I can speak two languages, or that I had a good paying job. Or, in terms of appearance, I was supposed to write things such as I like my dark straight hair, cute smile, and so on. And add my kind nature. Have I reached the point of loveliness yet?
I now think this was quite a ridiculous exercise. It only reinforced my judgment system. Judgments like having higher education is better than not having one, more money is better than less, straight hair is better than curly. . . So if I qualify for the better, I deserve self-respect, and if I have less of those, I am no good? Sounds to me that if I am in the “respect” group, I’d live in fear of losing that status, and if I am in the lower group, I’d live in anxiety. This is the opposite of love!
This is why I no longer use the word self-respect and say self-love instead.
Words like self-respect and self-esteem make me nervous. They imply I somehow have to qualify for respect. The truth is we all deserve respect. However, the word “respect” is often used in a more discriminating manner in our society. So I prefer self-love. Here, I am as I am, and I love myself! I don’t have to do or have anything. I love myself, period.
When we are comfortable with ourselves, we are empowered. People like self-assured, naturally caring person. So it gets so much easier to connect with others, and the connection can get to much deeper level. When this happens in business, it is marketing beyond the superficial marketing tactics and strategies.
When you express yourself and connect with your customers at deeper level, your business becomes indispensable.
Express who you are and who you aspire to be, your dreams and values, and people who identify with you will seek you out. Maki at DoshDosh just wrote an outstanding post titled It’s Not Just Words: The Importance of Empowering Your Audience. In this article, he discusses the power of connecting with your audience (customers) by sharing common dreams. When people see you as someone close to their heart, and feel you share their dream and they can achieve their dream “with and through you”, you (and your business) become special. Let me quote:
This is the ultimate form of marketing. Why? Because when you become so deeply associated with a vision, you move beyond selling. You have become an essential component of your audience’s lives.
(Maki always writes well – which is amazing – but this post is by far the most insightful, explaining the power of words and the superpower of your being behind the words. And yes, your being needs to be effectively expressed for good marketing.)
Marketing tools such as wording and images and strategies such as networking and campaign are best used to enhance this process of becoming part of your customers’ lives.
The I Factor of putting yourself in front of others is possible only when you first love yourself.
After all, how do you empower your customers when you are not empowered? As I wrote in 5 Qualities I See In Successful Entrepreneurs, I consider self-love and compassion are critical for business success. So please open your heart to yourself and others. (Oh, in case you are wondering what my dream may be. . . I want to help you learn the mindset of successful entrepreneurs so that you can make the leap with confidence. I believe in more holistic approach to entrepreneurship. This also means helping you unlearn conventional thinking and realize that the source of your true power and wisdom is within you.)
How are you expressing yourself in your business? What dreams are your clients trying to achieve with and through you?
Thank you to Brad for including this post in Carnival of Sales & Management Success, to Aaron for inclusion in Doing It Differently Carnival.
5 Qualities I Find In Successful Entrepreneurs
February 10, 2008 by Akemi · 11 Comments
Is it intelligence? Is it luck? Is it connection? What does it really take to become a successful entrepreneur?
We have all thought about this looking at the cover of Forbes 500, haven’t we? Or when we notice one business (be it a deli or an accounting firm) doing so well while another similar business around the corner fails miserably. I am on a mission to find out what qualities or characteristics it takes to become a successful entrepreneur – and this is what I have found so far. . .
1. Passion
This is the moving force that gets us take the leap and gets us out of bed with excitement every morning. Successful entrepreneurs love what they do. So spending a lot of time doing it is actually a pleasure, not really a work. They love doing not just the part that immediately affects the bottom line, but also studying about it and thinking and dreaming about it. When you are like this, the people around you feel your passion and naturally help you out.
Usually, the passion is about the service or products you want to offer, but sometimes there are variations. I heard that Howard Schultz, CEO of Starbucks, was passionate about building a business that treats its employees well more than he was passionate about coffee. Because he grew up looking at his dad who was treated poorly at work and yet could not leave the work.
Or how about the case of Chris Gardner, who rose from poverty to become a successful stock broker and established his own brokerage firm Gardner Rich. (His story became a movie The Pursuit of Happyness (Widescreen Edition)
2. Self-Love
Successful entrepreneurs believe in themselves to the point they take their ideas seriously and put them into business. Self-love and sense of service together form the foundation of strong entrepreneurship. This is where the strength comes from when the going gets tough.
Self-love is also about defining a healthy boundary, which is critical in dealing with others effectively. Further, a new sense of self-discovery, supported by self-love, is the critical part of clarifying our niche and carving out our own brand. People don’t like doing business with faceless organizations really – and without the self-love, how will you put yourself in front of your customers? (Have you noticed the name of this blog, “Yes to Me”? This is for you, the aspiring entrepreneur, to love yourself to the point you say “Yes to me.”)
3. Sense of Service
If you’ve been thinking you need to somehow cheat, manipulate, or otherwise take advantage of people to be a successful business owner, this may come as surprise. I was first introduced to this idea of entrepreneur as social server in one of Rich Dad’s books Rich Dad’s Retire Young, Retire Rich
How can I do what I do for more people with less work and for a better price?
Entrepreneurs serve the world through the work we do. And as entrepreneurs, we are the biggest beneficiary of this service because it gives us the strength to carry out our businesses. Without the sense that what we are doing makes a positive difference to other people’s lives, and to the world, it is hard to keep going.
4. Compassion
10 years ago, I might have called this inter-personal skills, but now I know it is more than a skill. As entrepreneurs, we need genuine compassion for the people around us, whether they are customers, potential customers, employees, business partners and advisers, and just anyone and everyone. Because everyone has the potential to help us in one way or the other, but for that to happen, we must first care for them so that they know us and care for us. And this is not about being a people-pleaser. There are people who are not the right match. Compassion is still the basis of true inter-personal relationships.
Liz Strauss at Successful Blog has a good post about this. It is titled The Best Business Advice Ever . . . in 50 Words. She says she learned the most important business lesson from her father. Let me quote:
Learn your business from your customers. Understand their minds, their hearts, and their lives. Do what you do to make their lives easier. When a problem comes, leave them a place to stand and stand tall beside them. . . . And remember, everyone is your customer, even your dad.
5. Skills / Knowledge
I am a practical dreamer. Here I am saying we do need to learn what we need to learn. If you are not prepared, what do you do when the opportunity falls on you? Liz has another post that illustrates this scenario. It is titled Success Can Come Right Out of Nowhere. Make no mistake. This is NOT about overnight success that takes no effort nor skills. The girl sure got an opportunity of a life time “out of nowhere”, but the real reason of her success is her great performance, her singing skill exhibited on the stage even though it was her first time. The opportunity may fall on you by accident, but if you are not well equipped with the necessary skills and knowledge, it will amount to nothing.
As a small business owner, you will need to learn not just the core skill you feel passionate about, but also the basic skills of running a successful business. You can hire a pro for, say, bookkeeping, if you don’t like accounting, but at least you need to know the difference between gross profit and operational profit.
One of the most critical skills of a successful entrepreneur is, I think, the skill to build efficient system.
Yes, this is a very holistic view of entrepreneurship.
I believe it takes far more than business knowledge (like how to write business plan, how to keep a book, and so on) to be a successful entrepreneur – it is about mental, emotional, and even spiritual change. What do you think? Do you know other “secret of success” I have missed? Tell me!
Thanks to Rob for including this post in Coaching Carnival, to E3 for inclusion in Carnival of Success Principles, to Carnival of Careers for inclusion.
If you like this article, you might enjoy my eBook on spiritual entrepreneurship. Click here for free, immediate download
