For The Love Of Life And Nature

Something is changing within me. I do not know who I am any more. So many things that have defined me — or, many things that I used to define myself — are falling off, and a fresh Akemi is coming out from within.

I cannot make sense of it all, so I am writing about it. (Hmm. This part of me who likes writing seems to be still here.)

Like today, I went out for a walk and ended up running perhaps quarter of the time. Running? Isn’t that something I’ve hated since I was in kindergarten? But I felt so light, I really wanted to run, and would have run all the way if I could. (My metaphorical heart is there, but my physical heart isn’t ready — the body needs some time for adjustment, I guess.)

And I put out a notice on my Akashic Record Reading site that I am currently not taking orders.

My work and me

Like most people, work has been a big part of my self-definition. Akemi as Akashic Record Reader and spiritual coach. And I know I’ve been super lucky — I have enjoyed using my gift to help people, the business is thriving, and my clients are happy. I’m even publishing my first book soon — this is when I should be marketing and working extra hard. So why stop now? Isn’t this crazy?

I agree it’s crazy. But there is a part of me that says, “I am more than this work!” and the voice is growing bigger daily.

Spiritually, this all makes sense actually. Life is like a computer simulation game. When you master a phase of a game, do you stay there? Of course not, you move on for new challenges. My soul wants to move on exactly because the business has been good and I’m publishing my book (one of my big dreams of life). It’s just my ego who insists on staying in the comfort zone.

(Note: I may figure out a way to balance my new thing — whatever that may be — and the Akashic Record Reading. If there is a fun new way to integrate the two. So don’t worry if you wanted a reading — I will open the door again.)

So what’s next?

Great question. I don’t know exactly what it is.

I do know what I want to experience: Even greater love.

For one, I want to feel I am completely supported by the Universe (or Source or God, whatever you call it). I do know I am supported — when I need extra cash, new orders rush in. It’s a miracle every time it happens. And yet, I still have some fear, the nagging fear that says “you must work hard to survive.”

No, my soul says, the Universe loves everyone. Hardworking or not. Work is about love, doing what I love to do and sharing it with others. Money flows separately. On the surface, it may look like the work is bringing in money, but energetically, it’s not.

Second, my love of nature is growing gigantic. I have always loved nature, but the way I loved it was at an arm’s length. For example, I might be so moved by the sunset — for 15 minutes or so. That’s still a significant experience, but it was isolated from the rest of my life.

I want to spend more time in the nature. Like all day, or days. I want to see what happens if I throw myself in the arms of the nature.

Now I must tell you, I grew up in a big city and never had a chance even to go hiking overnight. As much as I love the outdoor air, the trees, the changing light of the sun and the moon, I also have serious fear about bugs, animals, and what not. So this dream of spending more time in nature is kinda ridiculous.

The wanderlust

I’m also tempted to travel. And I have hated traveling. I consider myself as a migrant not a traveler — I moved from Japan to the U.S., from Ohio to Tennessee to Oregon, but once I settle in one place, I have seldom traveled. Even during the summer vacation season, I usually stayed around doing the “stay-cation”.

Part of the reasons is I am so sensitive. I can’t sleep in a hotel bed. They don’t use 100% cotton sheets and many hotels are located on busy, noisy streets. And of course, I dislike the busy roads and airports.

But on the other hand, I dream of seeing new horizons. America is a continent — if I drive all the way, I can drive from west coast to east coast, or from Canada to Mexico. For someone from the island country, this is so romantic.

I know the color of the sky changes depending on the location and the season. How does it look in Montana? In Maine? How does the air smell there?

The body awareness

And, whether the mind is ready or not, my body seems to be getting ready anyway. This is another thing that surprises me. I have never been athletic. Throughout my school days, people made fun of me because I was no good at sports.

I’m probably still no good at competitive sports, but these days, I just love how I feel when I ride my bike or when I walk — and yes, run. I do yoga every morning. I just love, love, love the sense of lightness and strength in me.

Again, right now, I can’t do much — I get muscle pain easily so I can’t continue long. But my yearning to move around is so strong.

So really, what’s next?

I don’t know. Do I want to travel across America like Ariel Bravy? (By the way, I met him the other day. He is even more inspiring in person than he is in his blog.) Live in the nature like Robin Easton? (Perhaps a bit of a stretch for me. . . but it’s a fascinating idea.) Hike like Stacey Mattews? (Okay, I need more training. . .) Or something else? I guess I can make a few small trips first to see how I feel?

For now, I’m just embracing this new uncertainty. You know, the mysterious chaos of energy before something takes place? Something will. Something wonderful
(Photo credit)

Letting Go To Reinvent Yourself

I guest posted awhile ago on Pick The Brain explaining how to purge the old unnecessary stuffs in our living space in order to usher in the new opportunities, which leads to reinventing yourself.

“Before creating your new YOU, you need to let go of your old YOU. Physically taking care of your environment by cleaning and decluttering can stimulate letting go of your mental clutter that has been holding you in the old pattern.”

Now throwing away your old clothes and magazines is easy.  It takes physical work, but really, it’s a no brainer work.  The challenge is letting go of something that you once cherished.  (Photo by Kruggg6)

Letting go of what you once treasured

For example, presents from your ex.  Or honorable memorabilia from your school days or when your career was at a peak. Even when you realize you don’t resonate with these things anymore, it may be challenging to purge them.

If you want to stick to your old glory, fine.  But if you sincerely desire to reinvent yourself, to be the you that haven’t emerged but you know you can be, let them go.  Say thank you for the old days, and purge them.

Physically letting them go leads to letting go of your mental and emotional attachments to the old you.  And of course, this is the critical part: Letting go of your mental and emotional attachments.  Empty yourself.  Be “no one” that you yourself don’t recognize.

Yes, this is a scary process.  You probably feel disoriented.  That is the precursor of freedom.

Letting go of the people you love

Further, there comes a time you may need to let go of your friends, teachers, mentors, or even some of your family members who don’t resonate with you any longer.

I personally went through this recently.  When I wrote Soul Shifting And The Light Ascension Of Maybe 2012, my teacher and some of my peers opposed me and told me to bend my view.  That was a total surprise for me.

First, I didn’t write that article to upset anyone.  In fact, I was only trying to help.  Some readers were so excited to read my recent changes that I shared in my Gratitude Journal of January 23rd that they commented and personally emailed me to write about the reason, the background of all those changes.  They were going through similar changes themselves and wanted to know what was going on.  So I wrote, and it turned out that this soul shifting is affecting far more people than I initially imagined.

(BTW if you are a blogger, please consider introducing that soul shifting article so that more people get a chance to learn about it.  There seem to be so many people who are going through this change but can’t figure out what is happening to them. They are so frustrated and confused.  You’ll be helping those people by linking to that article.  Thank you.)

Second, the whole idea that a student must always follow the teaching she received surprised me.  If that was the case, there would have been no progress in human history!  I think a true teacher would encourage the students to utilize the methodology to find further truth, even when that new truth contradicts the old.  I don’t think a true teacher would force students to subscribe to his or her teaching.

Accepting the new

So I just had to let go.  This was a very sad and scary process for me, honestly.  To be clear, I have nothing against them.  These are the people I have loved and respected tremendously.  I have learned a lot and I am grateful for all the contributions they have made in my life.  But the time was here for me to walk my path.

My spirit guides kept telling me things were happening in perfect order.  This was tough to believe considering all the mess I was going through, but wow, now I see it finally!  The end result of all this is I have the expertise to read Akashic Records and to communicate with other people’s Spirit Guides, AND, I’m the only Akashic Record reader who can deal with the light ascension situations.  Because others in my previous circle are rejecting or not willing to deal with it.  (There may be other psychics who can do this.  The world is wide and I don’t claim to know everything.  But I’m the only one I know of.  Well, actually, I know one more, but she is not taking clients at this time.)

Did someone say “niche”?

The world is changing.  Are you with the change?

If you are in similar situation, facing the choice of either sticking to your old circle or venturing into the unknown, I am with you.  Most likely, you just need to be willing to accept the new.  You may not need to break up with the old – they’ll just fall off on their own.  Just let them go with love and gratitude.  Harboring resentment to them only keeps yourself stuck, so don’t.  Your responsibility is to take care of yourself in this challenging time of change.

Are you ready to jump into the unknown?  If not, what or who is it that you can’t let go?  It’s okay, let us know, and you may find the courage just by sharing . . .

What's The Best Thing That Can Happen?

(Photo by Michael Dawes)

The empty time can be the most productive time

Happy August! I guess many of you are enjoying your vacation – especially those of you who work the corporate jobs. It’s a special time away from your busy daily life. Are you going away? Staying home to relax?

The vacation time is one of the most productive time. And I don’t mean “recharging” your battery. I say this because many of us are so busy doing what we are used to be doing, things we think we need to do because we always did them. We seldom take time to assess ourselves and our tasks. This keeps us busy, but it doesn’t necessarily make us productive.

By putting yourself away from your daily routine during the vacation, you have the opportunity to detach and review yourself. Is what you are doing something that you enjoy doing? Or is it a step to the goal you are heading to achieve?

We are always growing. Is your routine up to date to the current YOU?

The biggest waste of time is not watching a movie, not chatting with your friends, not even taking a nap. It’s living the life of someone else. Say, you have an executive position with a well-known company. You work hard, make great achievements, and get promoted. To the people looking at you, this may seem to be a wonderful life, and you are certainly productive. But if the true you is dying to express your artistic creativity, do all the busy work and consequent achievements even matter?

Perhaps the high social status was something you really wanted when you were younger. So you got your business degree and started working in suits. It worked well before – you had your wins, you learned how much you could do, all so exciting. Somewhere along the way, however, there was an internal change . . . a subtle, but real change. You grew out of that version of YOU.

Here are your choices:
1. Ignore the new YOU growing from within and stick to the YOU you and your friends and family knew.
2. Notice the new YOU and try halting its growth. Overloading yourself with busy work may work for this. Temporarily.
3. Notice the new YOU, notice it is growing, but . . . hey, what can you do? Everything is set up already for the old YOU.
4. Accept the new YOU and change your life to fit to the new YOU.

The paradox of nothingness

Is it scary to change your life to fit to the new YOU you are becoming? Do you hate the newness?

So here is your vacation. You are away from your daily routine anyway. Now don’t do anything. Really. Experience how nothingness feels.

Wherever you are spending your vacation time, embrace nothingness as much as possible. Don’t read. Don’t work on your to-do-list. Hey, you can even plug off your computer and not check the internet for the time being.

When you are completely rested and cleared, do one thing you want to do. Not something you feel you have to do. You are still in vacation, do something that is meaningful to you. The one thing that came out of this nothingness.

There. Now you are truly productive. That is the paradox of nothingness – by letting go of things, you discover the most valuable.

The question “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” is overused these days.

I’d rather ask, “What’s The Best Thing That Can Happen?”

That was what I did a year ago . . . after the summer, I quit my fulltime job and moved myself across America from Tennessee to Oregon. I’m so happy I made that change.

And I keep growing. There is always new ME forming from within, in the bubble. At this time, I don’t know what my new ME would want in life, I just hope I have the courage to follow her growth.

Bonus clue to your growth: Growth doesn’t always come in linear manner, and we don’t always have to “work” to receive something. My last week’s post was about a mini example of how the Universe provides in surprising ways. Further, I see in my business that new clients seem to show up in very timely manner.

Have you reinvented yourself before?