12 Steps To Realize Your Higher Self

When you notice you are operating as your Higher Self, as opposed to your usual mode of operation as your ego, you’d feel so different that you won’t miss it. It’s like a layer of a veil is lifted. Things become so clear and brilliant.

In this article, we’ll discuss the method that hopefully lead you to this experience. But first, please know methods are just methods. You may not need a method to experience something. And trying a handful of different methods may not get you to the experience.

The standard approach is meditation. I do believe meditation is the best way to this experience. The trouble is, sometimes you feel so troubled that meditation is the last thing you feel like doing. So what do you do? Just wait until you feel like meditating? Force yourself to meditate?

My new twelve-step program is something that bridges this gap.

The original 12 steps

Let me honor the original twelve-step program of Alcoholics Anonymous before we delve into my new version. Here it is:

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over (alcohol), that our lives had become unmanageable
Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity
Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God
Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs
Step 6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character
Step 7: Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings
Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all
Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others
Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it
Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out
Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs

Notice there is no step that says, “Made a resolution not to drink again.” This is not a program about quitting drinking or correcting an addictive habit; it’s about leaving the ego-centered way of living and realigning to “God” way.

I heard that, in the beginning, there were only two criteria that were asked to those who wished to join the group and start their recovery:

1. Can you not drink for one day?
2. Do you believe in a power greater than yourself?

In other words, the focus was to stay in the present and to align with a power greater than oneself. Oneself — the ego self, that is. All the steps are designed to promote these two points, to help a person leave the past regrets and grievances so that he can start afresh each day and to be more God-centered than ego-centered.

This seemingly roundabout approach has been surprisingly successful. Today, there are many types of twelve-step support groups such as Al-Anon (for families of addicts), Narcotics Anonymous, Nicotine Anonymous, and Overeaters Anonymous. (Depending on their addiction, they change the words in the bracket in Step 1.) The program works because all addictions are about the ego.

The nature of ego

The ego is addictive by nature. If nothing else, it is addicted to compulsive thinking, which distracts your attention from the present. The ego does this because the present, the Now, is when the realization of your Higher Self happens.

When you want to realize your Higher Self, then, you want to keep your attention to the Now. My new twelve steps are intended to release you from the compulsive thinking of the ego and to stay put in the Now.

The new 12 steps

Step 1: I admit that the “I” as I think I am, my ego, is unreasonable and has turned my life full of suffering.
Step 2: I believe that a power greater than my ego can restore me to sanity. This power is beyond me and yet within me, my Higher Self, which is one with the loving God.
Step 3: I have made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand it.
Step 4: I observe my thoughts and feelings, knowing most of them are about my ego and therefore disbelieving them.
Step 5: I admit I acted in ways that caused pain to myself and to the world. I didn’t intend to cause pain, I was only seeking love and comfort. Nonetheless, my actions were conditioned and reactive.
Step 6: I am entirely ready to live as my Higher Self, forgiving all I have done.
Step 7: I humbly ask for divine grace so I may stay aware.
Step 8: I acknowledge I am withholding love from myself and others because of my judgments.
Step 9: I accept the limitations of myself and others, and also the divinity in us all.
Step 10: I choose to live in the Now, and when my ego rises to wander, promptly arrest it.
Step 11: Through yoga and meditation, I tune up the connection of my body, mind and spirit, so I may act as my Higher Self, guided by its brilliance.
Step 12: Having had a spiritual remembering as the result of these steps, I live in childlike ease and joy, and I carry this message to others when appropriate.

Now let’s study each step in details.

Step 1: Most of us live as the ego. In fact, the first “I” that is admitting the ego is unreasonable is still just one aspect of the ego. But we must start somewhere, and acknowledging the ego’s unreasonable, crazy nature is the first step. Our strategy is to give the ego something specific to work on rather than let it work on random problems as it usually does.

If you don’t think the ego is unreasonable, perhaps you haven’t suffered enough. Most of us live in denial. That’s okay — take your time. Watch how your ego creates a problem by thinking and judging and then how it turns around to solve that problem. If you set a fire and then go around screaming “Fire!”, isn’t that crazy and unreasonable?

When you are ready, you might want to make a list of all the craziness in your life. This is admittedly a very painful step. In AA meetings, many big well-established men and women break into tears when they do the first step. This is actually good — the denial is finally giving way to your desire for recovery — in this case, your desire to live as your Higher Self.

Step 2: Again, it’s still an aspect of ego talking, and “believing” is a far cry from really “knowing,” but we need to start somewhere. If you have done Step 1, the first sentence of Step 2 comes easily. The second sentence — well, for now, please just take it as it is written.

Step 3: This is basically the same as the original step. It’s about surrendering. And it’s a very scary step because at this point, you are probably still operating as your ego, and the last thing ego wants to do is to give up any of its power (even though that is only a fake power).

If the resistance is too strong and you cannot do Step 3, please go back to Step 1. You might also want to review your concept of God. Do you really see God as the source of all life, love and intelligence? (If you are allergic to the word “God,” please replace it with the word of your choice, such as Source or Universe.)

Step 4: You want to make it a habit to observe your thoughts in the same way you observe passing thoughts in meditation. No push, no pull, no reacting, just observing. Feel the existence of the “you” who is observing your thoughts. That is not your thinking ego.

In the beginning, you probably slip often and react to your thoughts and feelings. This is why Step 4 is an ongoing step.

Step 5: This step pairs with Step 4. As you observe so many thoughts and notice how you tend to react to them, you might feel bad about yourself. You’ve already done Step 1, and know how crazy things can get when you act on your ego’s cues.

It’s critical at this point to understand that you, like everyone, acted and reacted not because you wanted to cause pain but because you didn’t know better. Yes, your ego drove you crazy and you did some really stupid things. But at the time of acting it, you thought your action would bring some comfort, or at least some relief. No one does anything with the pure intention to cause pain. Even murderers have a reason — at least at the very moment of their action, they thought the action would bring some comfort or relief. Perhaps a stupid reason, but still a reason.

The real problem is we, as egos, are conditioned to think and act in certain ways and we react to our thoughts and feelings. In order words, the real problem is the lack of awareness. (By the way, this step is not about defending murderers but does mean having compassion to all beings.)

Step 6: So we get to the point of really wanting to have this awareness, or to live as our Higher Selves. In order to get there, we need to release the baggage from the past by forgiving ourselves. This is another painful step. Your ego will resist the idea of forgiving yourself — your ego would insist on punishing yourself for all the wrongs you’ve made. And as long as you listen to your ego’s resistance, you are not quite ready yet.

Step 7: The awareness comes by divine grace. It’s not something you can work on or create. That’s just your ego talking, again — the ego loves doing something. And the ego judges if you deserve it or not.

No, at this point, you simply ask or pray so that you can have this awareness. If you really have done Step 6, Step 7 comes naturally.

Step 8: The nature of your Higher Self is the same quality love of God. While the ego makes judgements about people, things, and events, your Higher Self is waiting to just love. Let’s notice that.

For me, this is an ever fresh step. There is more, more, and more love, and even after doing the steps many times, I still notice I am withholding some love, so I do the nest step to open up further.

Step 9: This is another way to say love. As humans, we have limitations. We also have innate divinity. Accepting both aspects means living as your Higher Self in this physical world.

Both aspects. If you find yourself focusing on either one of the aspect, you haven’t got it yet. Step 5 prepares you to accept the limitations in us. Step 2 and 7 prepare you to accept the divinity in us.

The “I” is now shifting to your Higher Self. The “I” who can accept the egos and the Higher Selves in oneself and others is not your ego, it’s your Higher Self. You might take Step 8 and 9 awareness back and forth to really get it.

Step 10: As I explained earlier, the ego doesn’t like the Now and wants to distract you to the past or the future. When this happens, simply notice and get back to the present.

Step 11: What’s good with yoga (or other body-mind-spirit work of your choice) is you intend to move your body in a certain way using your mind, and then you observe your body movement as you observe your thoughts and feelings in Step 4. So it links the body, mind and your Higher Self awareness.

Body awareness is the key. I wrote yoga because I like it, but as long as you use your body, mind, and awareness, you can do the movement of your choice such as tai chi or martial arts. (I’m not interested in the kind of yoga that just does the poses — that is more like aerobics with yoga poses.)

Meditation is also helpful. Hopefully, by the time you get to this step, you are ready to meditate. This is another ongoing maintenance step so you stay in your Higher Self awareness.

Step 12: We are our Higher Selves. This is about remembering this original state, not achieving something new. As your ego created problems decrease, you get to live in childlike ease and joy. (By joy, I don’t mean the temporary jolted feeling you have when you get what you wanted.) This doesn’t mean you are now always your Higher Self. The ego is canny and it will be back. (When it does, it seems to attack with vengeance.)

At this point, you are probably just living your life with the simplicity and audacity of a child, and the people around you may notice. I am not big on marketing, but when someone asks, it may be appropriate to talk about it.

How to work the steps

If you want to practice the 12 steps, this is how:

1. Read the 12 steps aloud a couple of times a day, like morning and evening. Soon, you will memorize them. Posting the printout may be helpful, too.
2. Do the steps one by one.
3. When you feel troubled, emotionally disturbed, stressed, or whenever you can, recite the 12 steps and see where you are. For example: Have I realized how unreasonable my ego is? If not, is what I am going through enough to take Step 1? Or: Am I observing my thoughts and feelings? Oh, I guess I am reacting to them. Let’s do Step 4.
4. When you are down to Step 12, start over from Step 1 again. Often, it takes multiple rounds to really get it.

While I heard some stories of immediate and once-for-all enlightenment, my experience is this is a process.

So try it out and let me know how it works for you!
(Photo credit)

Who Am I? The Ego Or The Higher Self?

(Photo credit)
“Who am I?” is one of the most popular article on this blog. That article has a lot to do with soul shifting, and in this new article, I’d like to discuss this fundamental issue of our existence by focusing on the ego and the Higher Self.

We exist on two completely different levels, or as two beings, the ego and the Higher Self. This split and identifying with the ego rather than the Higher Self is the cause of troubles and pains in life.

Definition of the ego

Ego is your form identity. By definition, forms appear to be separate from one another, so your ego thinks you are a separate being in this world. Therefore, your ego is invested in your survival. It does everything it can possibly conceive to make sure you survive in this seemingly wide cruel world.

The main tool the ego uses for this objective is thinking. In fact, the ego is so much about thinking that 99% of the time you are thinking, I can safely assume it’s your ego thinking. (The remaining 1% or so is when you are actively solving specific problems, such as when you are working on a math test.)

Thinking isn’t bad by itself, but when the ego uses it in its signature obsessive manner, it is no good. When it’s extremely obsessive, we call it “worrying” “obsessing” or “paranoid”, but really, most of us are addicted to compulsive thinking.

Think of your ego as a little creature who is scared of just about everything. So the ego is always on the defense and thinks, thinks, and thinks . . .

Oh, and the ego also likes temporary pleasures. Of course — who can just go on and on worrying without the occasional relief of a pleasure? The ego is greedy for a reason.

The ego also likes competition and argument. Or, more accurately, the ego sees everyone else as competitor and every conversation as argument.

Your Higher Self

Whether you have ever thought of it or not (here is the word “thought” again — that’s the ego talking), you also exist as your Higher Self.

In this context, I am using the word “Higher Self” as pretty much the same as spirit or soul. Your Higher Self is the formless part of you (but not your mind — mind is formless by itself but is attached to the form), and therefore is interconnected with all other existences and one with God, or the Source.

Your Higher Self is not concerned about your survival. Your Higher Self survives the death of your current body and has already seen many such transformations. So your Higher Self has a completely different purpose.

Your Higher Self is a wise and powerful creator. Your Higher Self knows so much better than all the knowledge and reasonings your ego can gather.

Two worlds

Where is this formless world where our Higher Selves live? Behind the world of forms we are used to see. It’s not somewhere in the sky, really, it’s a dimension that is connected to this world.

I want to make a point that the world of forms is not inferior to the formless world. Look out the window and notice how beautiful this physical world is. We incarnated to experience this world of forms. It is a wonderful place to pass by.

The ancient Indians taught that the four elements (earth, water, fire, air) that make up everything in this universe all come from one ultimate element, Akasha, and eventually return to Akasha. Akasha is the primordial element that is formless and cannot be detected by our senses. In other words, this physical world rises from the formless and returns to the formless. Yet, the manifestation is a joy and is meaningful.

Likewise, let’s not make the ego our enemy. That’s what many people do, as I wrote in this article about releasing negativity. No need — rather, we just dis-identify with the ego and live as the Higher Self more.

How to tell the ego from Higher Self

So the golden questions are:

• How do you tell your ego from your Higher Self?
• When you want something, how can you tell if it’s your ego’s desire or your Higher Self’s wish?
• How do you release your lifelong identification with the ego?

If you know the answers to these questions, the Garden of Eden is your playground. You shall live in child-like bliss there. The Law of Attraction works for you without fail.

The trouble is, as soon as we start thinking about these questions, it’s very likely your ego kicks in, and from there, it’s all about ego’ s playing with words and logics. Your Higher Self knows your ego (it knows everything) but your ego doesn’t know your Higher Self, so this thinking by the ego about itself and the Higher Self (which it has no idea, really) is futile.

The answers to these questions can only be received intuitively. Meditation is helpful.

However, my spirit guides and I have been working on a step-by-step approach for those of you who are more left-brained or for those times when your intuition seems to be working on the low. It doesn’t replaces intuition, but it can supplement the working of intuition by giving some structure.

I’ll write about these steps in the next article.

Related post: Motivation vs Inspiration (Motivation is about the ego and inspiration is about the Higher Self)

Our Judgement Of Good And Bad

If you are not feeling content, peaceful and fulfilled, this post is for you. There is only one thing that is hurting you. It’s not your health condition, not your excess weight, not your job nor the boss, not your financial situation, not your relationship or the lack of it, nor any other reasons you can come up with.

I’ve already said it here and here that there are no such thing as bad thing and it’s our judgement that bothers us. We are so addicted to making judgments that we will create problems or choose to see something as bad if we don’t find enough things to judge.

But maybe this topic deserves repetition. Let me put it as blunt and straightforward as I can.

What if I told you I had a cancer?

• Would you be sorry for me? Why?
• Do you think I did something wrong and I am getting punished? Why?
• Am I supposed to be sad, panicked, angry, resentful, etc? Why?
• What makes you think having a cancer is a bad thing?

Well, I have no such diagnosis, but I am using this example because it seems to hit people’s nerves. Why, just why, do you think a disease like cancer is bad?

Because I will die soon? So? You know I will leave sooner or later, right?
Because it will hurt? Yeah, that sounds no fun. I don’t like pain. But pain doesn’t have to mean mental struggle.

There is really no reason why cancer should be considered bad. But you made the judgment. Some of you may even have made the assumption that having a serious disease like a cancer means I did something wrong or I “attracted” it by some ill thoughts. Ha!

And of course, you make hundreds of other judgements every day. Now forget about little Akemi. You make hundreds of judgements about the things that happen to you. Every judgement brings fear, confusion, anger, anxiety, guilt and shame.

Why our judgements are always wrong

Our ego makes judgements based on what we know, either directly or indirectly. In a sense, growing up and getting educated is all about learning how to judge.

The problem here is that the knowledge base we use to make our judgement is extremely limited. Even a Noble prize winner knows very little of what it is there in this Universe. Therefore our judgements are always limited, or downright wrong and misleading.

For example, most people don’t know what happens after death. So they think death is the end and judge it is bad. (As you know, I write about after death and reincarnation. Death is only a transformational process.)

Many people think having a job is the only way to make a living, so they judge a job loss is bad. (As I look back, I see that every time I lost a job, I eventually got even better job.)

Regarding how life unfolds while we are in this lifetime, “good” things often come out from “bad” things. But we don’t see it (unless you have very good precognition ability), so we judge something such as a traffic ticket or job loss is bad.

Bad turning good

Do yo need some examples of how seemingly bad things can bring wonderful results? Here is a story from an ancient Chinese book. (I read it in Japanese, so I don’t know what it’s called in English — if someone knows, please let me know):

There lived a farmer in the northern area of ancient China, near the border. One day, his horse ran away. The villagers heard about his loss and visited him to say they are sorry about it. But the man said, “It’s not a problem. This can turn out good.” People didn’t understand him and thought he was strange.

Several days later, the horse came back, along with several other wild horses from beyond the border that it befriended with. Horses from the north were highly praised so this was a lot of gain for the farmer. The villagers heard about it and visited him to say they are happy for his good luck. But the man said, “This is not necessarily good.” People didn’t understand him and thought he was strange.

The farmer had a young son. The son grew fond of riding these great wild horses. One day, however, he fell off and was injured badly. The villagers heard about this accident and visited the farmer to say they are sorry about it. But the man said, “It’s not a problem. This can turn out good.” People didn’t understand him and thought he was strange.

Later, China started a war with the northern barbarians. Most young men were drafted and many never returned. But the farmer’s son was spared because he was crippled.

The story then concludes its moral saying, “Thus, the good and the bad are intertwined like a rope. You would not know if something is good or bad.”

I would say there is no good nor bad, it’s just our judgement.

What does this all mean to our everyday life?

Does this mean we want to just sit back be a lazy couch potato because, uh, nothing is bad and everything is already good?

Yes and no. By no, I mean, not unless sitting on the couch and doing nothing is what brings you joy. We are all here to experience our creative power in this physical world. So you probably want to create what you love. (Creation in this world usually takes some inspired actions.)

It does, however, mean you can do away with all those unnecessary struggles that you indulge in. This helps you to direct even more energy to your creation.

Also, it does mean we can relax. There is a point about doing nothing. So yes, sometimes you find me on the couch daydreaming. Fine.

I know this is a simple, yet very hard to grasp idea. It takes a lot of unlearning. Take your time. When you feel troubled, anxious, depressed or angry, stop and think what kind of judgments you are making. (You are certainly making judgements when you feel these emotions.) And let your judgment go. If possible, laugh at your judgements. Laugh at your own ego making all these judgements as if it knows everything. The ego is like a seventeen-year-old who thinks she knows everything about life. (Photo credit)

Next Page »