Learning To Love Networking
April 18, 2008 by Akemi
Are you secretly shy but want to network to promote yourself and your business?
First, you are not alone. It is so natural to feel a bit of resistance when we make that first connection with a new person. It’s an animal instinct – you don’t know how they may respond, so there is a level of danger. Further, we’ve all had unpleasant experience with those slick “networkers” who work the room around handing out their business cards. Apparently, all they cared was their own business and you felt used. So you don’t want to be like them.
The good news is, networking doesn’t have to be that way. I have been making several new friends a week using the following three strategies. These strategies reduce my stress level when I approach new people, and let me build rapport that helps each other.
1. Have sincere interest in the person you are reaching out.
And know that people like being approached . . . by someone who really appreciate who he or she is. This means I do my homework before contacting the person. When I reach out to another blogger, I first spend time reading their blog – their home page, about page, their own top pick posts (many blogs have “Best of XXX” list in the sidebar), and several recent posts. While I am at this, I might leave comments or stumble upon the posts. Then I email the blogger how I like their blog, which part really touched my heart or which tips I found most useful.
Most of the time, the recipients get back to me so happily. Very often, we start working together quickly. For example, the guests of my Interview With Successful Entrepreneurs series are often recruited this way. Or we might talk about guest blog opportunities.
I find online connection is easier than offline because I can do this homework. It is also easier online to find people with similar interests. I search through Google and StumbleUpon for blogs about business and personal development. I also check comments on my own blog and on blogs I like. Additionally, there are blogs who regularly feature good blogs, such as NBOTW and the Quote of the Week.
When I physically meet people, the homework is sometimes difficult to do. I don’t usually know the people who will be there at the meeting I will be attending. So I just have to build it from the ground that we are attending the same meeting – with a certain interest in common. And I attempt the second strategy . . .
2. Have something to give.
This is mainly for myself, for me to feel more comfortable to approach a new person and to have a little reason to approach the person. If it’s online relationship, I might offer my e-workbook 7 Check Points For Aspiring Entrepreneurs for their review. The stumble (= new traffic) and comments I mentioned above are another example of mini gifts.
It reduces my stress level tremendously when I think more about what I can give rather than what I can get. And I don’t think it has to be a “stuff” that I give. I’d most appreciate if someone emails me with an idea to improve my blog. Or when someone quotes from my post and send me link love. Wouldn’t you?
When I attend meetings and seminars, I might bring in something to give (think of a box of donuts, for instance) if it seems appropriate and I seek something nice to say to the person I want to talk to. For example, I will talk to the person during the break and mention the great question she asked in the seminar. Or I compliment the unique ring the woman next to me is wearing or ask about the book someone is carrying.
And finally, here is a strategy to multiply your effort of networking. . .
3. Promote others.
Yep. Don’t just promote yourself, promote others. For two reasons. One, it’s the best gift you can give to the person you are helping to get ahead, and if that person is worth the attention, they will remember. They will do what they can do to help you. You are building a strong ally for yourself by promoting others. Two, you are helping the person in front of you, too, by giving solid reference, and they will appreciate you. (Needless to say, be sure your reference is excellent.)
And again, saying nice things about someone else is so much easier than promoting myself. I often wonder why it is so challenging to say I am a great coach! I know I do a wonderful job, and it is a work of love – it helps people to live better, so I am proud of my work, and yet . . . aaaaagh! My heart is starting to go faster with self-consciousness!! Whereas promoting the coaching service in general is not that difficult for me, and talking about the great blog I found is casual and fun. (Like, did I mention Cath Lawson’s Fab Quotes?)
We can’t afford not to network in life and in business.
Any business is about person to person connection at its core. The above three strategies make a good start in networking. It is not a way to get maximum number of names in the shortest time possible. It is about building strong meaningful relationships in a slow and steady way while feeling good about ourselves. It works for me, especially online. For offline networking, I still have a lot to try – I am checking what kind of meetings or seminars are good for networking, how to find them, how to physically approach people, and so on. I appreciate if you have any suggestions.
Related reading: Professional Networking: It’s Not Just Who You Know
More related reading especially about how to use comments for networking:
How I Made $2500 Online Simply By Leaving a Comment at Adversity University
Rethinking Blog Comments at Dosh Dosh
No related posts.
Hmmm….how did you guess that I’m secretly shy? Thanks, Akemi, for a great article. I definitely like the idea about promoting others!
Have a lovely weekend,
Evelyn
I so agree that entrepreneurship can be about promoting others and a connection between two people. Then it is authentic instead of a transaction.
Lovely article Akemi!!!
Evelyn,
Well, I haven’t told you guys yet, but I’m a psychic. . .
You are a very good networker already. It’s clear by the good comments you write always.
Melanie,
Thank you. I checked your site and see you like photos. Do you have any photos of sunrise you’d like to share here?
Good post. I have to admit, I’m not keen on marketing, but, you have to do a bit for your blog.
Tejvan,
I think the trick is not to consider it as “marketing” although this post is in category of “marketing fun.” Making new friends is fun, isn’t it? Don’t drag yourself because you “have to” do it. Enjoy it! I hope this article helps you in that direction.
Hi Akemi,
Such great advice, and thank you for the link love.
Too often people are selfish and ask “what’s in it for me?”. That’s the type of attitude that is easily detected, and becomes a big turnoff.
Barbara,
You are very welcome.
I think it is an issue of balance and long-term vision. Of course, I want to promote myself — but the interesting thing is, I often gain more by promoting others. It may not come as business leads, but I build rapport that can help me ongoing, and I learn from others. And I find it enjoyable to promote others.
On the deeper level, we are all connected. Helping others IS helping myself. We can all step up to prosperity. People who only want to promote themselves may be doing disservice to themselves by being so narrow-sighted and believing in scarcity.
Hi Akemi – thanks so much to my fab quotes. I love discovering them. What you say is so true too – helping others is vitally important in any type of business.
[...] articles: Learning to Love Networking – Akemi Gaines Share and Enjoy [...]
Nice article on networking socially
Moumitas last blog post..Unit Linked Insurance Plans
Akemi:
Great article! Whether or not we like it, we do have to promote ourselves b/c otherwise who will? Of course, there are ways of doing it correctly without pushing things but there’s this great book I’m reading now called “Step Into the Spotlight” by Tsufit (wierd name I know but memorable). It’s about stepping up to the plate, into the spotlight and letting others know you exist.
With blogging there are numerous ways of doing that, some of which you’ve mentioned above. Contrary to what some people might think, when you’re promoting someone else, you’re actually promoting yourself (what goes around comes around). Also, when you leave comments, you’re also promoting yourself. I’ve had several people visit my blog recently because of heartfelt and value-added comments I’ve left elsewhere. And then of course, there’s your own blog where both your community and you are the stars.
Nice job – I enjoyed this article. It was well thought out and genuine. I like that.
Oops, looks like I got sidetracked from responding to your comments. . .
Cath,
You are welcome. You do interesting job on your blog.
Moumita,
Welcome.
Stephen,
That book sounds interesting. I will take a look.
I’m planning another post on comments (customer feedback) and how bloggers / businesses respond. I know you are very meticulous about responding back to comments, which is actually rare. Come back and check it out soon.
[...] feel so lucky to have great friends. Blogging (and my conscious efforts in networking) have brought me so many wonderful friends all over the world. They encourage me, inspire me, and [...]
[...] Related post: Learning To Love Networking [...]
[...] Related post: Learning To Love Networking [...]