A Year Without Paychecks
September 2, 2008 by Akemi
I realize the paycheck mentality runs deep in us.
The temperature is dropping quickly and it’s suddenly fall in Oregon. It’s been almost a year since I quit my corporate job. When I did so, I thought I was free of the paycheck mentality. I was never the kind of worker who would spend hours in overtime, forgetting my own life and merging into the corporate system. Moreover, I had no problem asking for the best rate for the kind of work I did, so I thought I had good self-esteem and independence. (Photo by Michael Dawes)
Boy, what little did I know. I now realize that was exactly the sign of the paycheck mentality. And I find myself shyly coming out of that conditioned mentality finally.
Three signs of hidden paycheck mentality
Paycheck mentality is usually defined as the tendency to seek security and stability over freedom. It is also about dependency.
That is the basic idea, but here are three more critical signs that you are brainwashed in the corporate world, whether you currently work in there or not:
- You think money for your work in terms of time spent doing the work.
- You let others decide your value.
- You compare yourself to others, real or imaginary.
Let me explain into details.
You think money for your work in terms of time spent doing the work.
Most corporate workers are paid by a certain rate, whether it is described as hourly or annual. From factory line workers to their president. You may think the president is different, but if he or she is not the owner, the situation is pretty much the same. It’s just their wage is set by the year and maybe comes with potential bonus.
But a business makes money by delivering value. There are a lot of factors involved, but fundamentally, the more value a business delivers to more people, the more money it makes. So why are the workers in that business are paid by the hour rather than the value they create and deliver?
For efficient handling of paychecks and stability of workforce, I guess.
The problem is, when I left the corporate world, I carried over this corporate paycheck mentality. I was thinking “Well, I made $XXX per hour before, so my first target is to make as much money as I did before.” When I was taking professional coach training course, I also checked other coaches’ rate and figured out what I may be able to claim as a new coach.
Total BS. As a business owner, I need to charge my service based on the value it delivers, not how much time I spend on it. For example, a good coach who can change the life of the client can claim humongous amount (like this guy). On the other hand, if the coaching is really not much more than a friendly chit-chat, that is close to free, and nobody would care about that coach’s livelihood.
I’m currently reviewing my rate for my Akashic Record Reading. There are some business considerations, but I think I’ve got the basic attitude right, finally.
You let others decide your value.
Closely related to point #1, look what I did before to determine the rate of my service. I checked others’ rate. When I was an employee, I did the same, and again, I thought I was doing great because I was not afraid of asking for the top rate.
But no matter how assertive I was, I was NOT the person who determined my rate. My boss had the final say, and I had to either take it or leave it.
I was so used to this “I’m a brilliant assertive employee who can ask for the top rate.” mentality that I didn’t notice what a dis-empowering approach it was. After all, everyone in the company was letting someone else to determine their value, either meekly or assertively – including my boss, the president.
Now that I’m the owner of my business, however, I need to determine my own value. Honestly, it still feels scary to me.
You compare yourself to others, real or imaginary.
This is the flip side of point #2. Because the paycheck is set in the pay system, I always compared myself to others to determine how I was doing as employee. When the company was purchased by another, I compared myself with my counterpart in the new company. Sometimes I compared myself with the imaginary figure described in magazines or movies.
Not that the comparison started in the corporate world. It started long before I entered the corporate world, in the school system, which is just a system to make more employees.
And when I compared myself to others, I NEVER felt good about myself. I was a straight A student – well, actually, better than that, I broke many academic records of my high school, and when I attended the college in US, I graduated with honor – but there was always someone ahead of me. Like that math genius you see in Little Man Tate. And I knew my #1 rank in test scores was something so fragile, unreliable stuff. I wasn’t even doing what I liked doing.
Enough. I don’t want to bring the same comparison-based (fake) self-esteem to my business. Focus on delivering value to my clients. If I can deliver value and make my clients happy, I’m good in my business.
The entrepreneur mentality is about realizing the power within yourself.
This is the best part of being an entrepreneur. It is empowering and liberating. But it took me a whole year to just realize how badly I was conditioned in paycheck mentality.
I recently read a great post written by home-based business marketing expert Naomi Dunford. Well, actually, it was the email she quoted in the post that I felt strongly. It’s an email written by personal development blogger Hunter Nuttall with the subject line of “How to Work from Home When You Have No Fucking Talent”. Here is the excerpt:
“. . . People who are fabulous copywriters can be you or Brian Clark or James Chartrand . . . (more name dropping about “talented” entrepreneurs.) The company I work at is likely to shut down in early October, which is actually great timing because that’s about the point when my tolerance for a corporate environment will be exhausted. I’m looking at what options might be available . . .”
While we all wait for Naomi’s new eBook that addresses this issue, here is my 2c: That is paycheck mentality, Hunter. Wake up. Stop comparing yourself to those big names, see what you can do to create and deliver value, and start doing it. It took me a year, but you are better prepared than I was a year ago (I basically just walked off and moved myself across the continent).
People who has done it knows. Here is Harry’s comment to that post.
“This is so surreal. I’m reading Hunter’s email and thinking, “But I’m a regular Joe, too.” The thing is, we all start at ground zero. I was scared shitless two years ago when I lost my cushy, high-paying, regular 9-5 job. It’s difficult to let go of that security blanket the weekly paycheck provides. James and I had talent, yes. We also had an idea. But that didn’t make it any easier.”
Best wishes to all who are starting to believe in your hidden talents and willing to take action.
Special Thanks
Coincidentally 
Hunter just published a great interview – of me as Akashic record reader. Please check it out.
If you like this article, you might enjoy my eBook on spiritual entrepreneurship. Click here for free, immediate download
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Akemi, first, let me congratulate you on lasting a whole year without paychecks. I say this as someone who still relies on them for my sense of security.
Second, you raise some excellent points about this hidden paycheck mentality. It’s insidious, to say the least, and I’m pleased by the way you tackle it.
Third, whatever empowers and liberates you as a person of means is to be embraced with heartfelt conviction, and it’s such a pleasure to see you do this.
Fourth, I am bursting with admiration for you, for the fact that you’re breaking new ground with a relatively little known service that could do a lot of good.
I look forward to the second part of your interview with Hunter!
Soulfully yours,
Christopher
Akemi-san,
That was a great article. Stuff, I already understood in my head, but reading your post I can still see how it affects areas of my thinking.
ari
Ari Koinumas last blog post..Congratulations! You Failed.
Well, I was talking about freelance writing jobs, so the employee mindset is appropriate (job = employee).
I think people bash the employee mindset too much. I agree that it’s better to be a successful entrepreneur than a successful employee, but the latter is still pretty good.
If you can make $100,000 a year from a job you do at home that’s kind of fun, your life is a million times better than the average person, who commutes to a boring job and works with annoying people just to bring home a measly paycheck.
Would it be even better to be an entrepreneur and not have the boss? Sure, but keep in mind how much harder it is. I just wrote my first paid blog post, and made more money from that one post than I did from many months of AdSense earnings on my blog. I’m not thrilled with being an employee, but it has the major advantage of being far, far easier to make money from.
What I was really getting at in my email to Naomi was “how do you provide value when you have no value to provide?” I think we see a great example in your Akashic record reading service. You can read the Akashic records, so that’s a great way for you to provide value. But I can’t, so it’s not an option for me. I’ve been looking for years, but the kinds of things I’m good at, people don’t pay for.
Harry’s underplaying his talent when he says that. Here’s an example of our graphic design work: http://hunternuttall.com/blog/2008/08/dont-label-me/. Harry did the banner at the top, and I did the stick figures below. Do you think I can make 6 figures by drawing stick figures for people? I don’t. I’m sure things weren’t easy for Harry, but without his talent (and James), it wouldn’t have even been possible.
I’m not saying don’t try to be an entrepreneur, but maybe it’s better to have something more realistic to sustain you while you work towards the dream.
Chris,
Wow, I deserve all these praises? Thank you.
(I feel kind of shy . . . help me accept all the goodies . . .)
Koinuma-sn,
Cool. You work for yourself, right?
Hunter,
The world needs good employees. I’m not in the movement to abolish them. And entrepreneurship is not for everyone, I can see that. Further, I don’t recommend anyone to do what I did (walking out without clear plan, and just figuring it out while eating off my saving) at all.
But I still have to say — you have value you can provide. Otherwise you wouldn’t have a job nor blog. . .
Luv you, Hunter, I’ll be watching you.
Akemi, I find it quite endearing that you’d respond shyly to my gush. I think part of my gush had to do with just how refreshing it was to read your no-nonsense, clear-and-honest-down-to-the-bone perspective on an issue that affects so many. When you’re on your own in the land of supply-and-demand, and you wish to sidestep the paycheck mentality, I imagine the thing to do would be to raise the demand for your product or service to a point where you feel pressured to raise your price to meet the supply. If client’s start complaining (creatively, one hopes) about how slow your service is, consider that a wonderful sign of your progress and value!
Christopher
@Hunter: Ah, Hunter, don’t sell yourself short. I did that for too many years and it just stops you from spreading your wings.
What you’re seeing is the end result (well, not quite *the* end result, I’m improving every day) of many, many years of “Am I good enough?”
James will tell you that when we first started I didn’t think that I could stand up to some of the big dogs in our field. I’d look at my stuff and look at someone else’s and think, “Man, am I ever going to be that good?”
It took me a long time to separate my own self worth from the job I do and to realize that I am good at what I do. The proof is right there. There are still people who make my work look like stick figures, believe me, but at this stage of the game I take a different approach. I look at their work and ask myself how they did it. I pick it apart and try it on my own. Sometimes it works, other times it doesn’t, and sometimes I come up with something so totally unique I have people asking me how I did it.
You have to find what you’re good at and go with that and remember it has nothing to do with the value of *you*. What you’re good at might just need a certain spin, or maybe it’s time hasn’t come yet.
For a long time James and I put our gaming on the back burner. Then one day James hit on an idea to bring gaming and creative writing together. It had been sitting right under our noses all the while, but the time and our means to do it hadn’t been right. Keep those ideas on file because you never know how they’ll fit in later on.
@Akemi: The paycheck mentality is so very hard to let go. After almost three years in this business I’m only now letting go of that choked feeling. It takes some budgeting, planning, and readjustment. It’s uncomfortable as hell at first, but after a while it’s not so scary.
One thing I have realized is, even when you own your own business you’re still working for somebody. Only this time around you don’t have any kind of buffer between you and the client. Your reputation is constantly on the line.
I’m no entrepreneur, that’s James’ department. In some ways I’m still in employee mode. He brings the work in and I’m more than happy to do it (although there is a lot more to it than that).
You are right though, and this is what I’m trying to tell Hunter, you can’t really compare yourself to others. Look and learn, yes, but everyone’s skill sets are so different that all you can do is strive for your own personal best.
Chris,
Wow, I’ve been thinking about my rate increase seriously for the last few days. I know it’s the right move, but I still felt somewhat hesitant — what if the current big wave of orders were only temporary in nature? I can’t decrease the rate once I put it up, etc.etc.
Thank you. I’m writing the notice now.
Oh, Prince Harry is here! Welcome, and thank you for writing to Hunter.
I think a lot of self-employed people actually work with paycheck mentality. That is okay if they are okay with it. For me, however, it’s not. If it’s only about money, I can make it so much easier working for existing system, but I want to be me and my own, and that is the whole point for me.
I like your point about the time for new ideas. My Akashic Record Reading service is so new to so many people, and most clients come through the internet. I benefit a lot from the surging interest in spirituality and the advance of technology. Without the internet, the software so easy to use that even I can set up the site, and Paypal, I’d be out of business.
@Akemi: I think the Akashic Records is a great idea. The thing I’ve learned over the years when I was doing my own tarot and astrology readings was people are always searching for the meaning in their lives. They want to know the hows and whys in this life. They enjoy reading about themselves. That will never go out of style. The trick is finding a good reader and not a con-artist.
I’ve seen plenty of scheisters. I’ve called out a few too. If you’re genuine and give people a reading that is truly unique to them with specifics about themselves, you’ll go far.
One time I had this in depth numerology reading done along with a friend of mine. On the surface it looked good, and then my friend and I compared notes.
This reader was sending out additional “newsletters” to every subscriber saying “There are some interesting developments happening for you this year” and then giving just enough generic BS to get the person hooked. The so called personalized reading I got was almost identical to my friend’s.
Needless to say, I got my money back on that one.
People like that are just in it for the money and playing on the vulnerability of the masses. As a business owners, James and I are not about the money at all. We both know that there’s more to it than that.
@Hunter – I respectfully disagree with your view on your value
What you see as raw talent is probably years and years of honing skills. You can never know who started out drawing stick figures and ended up drawing portraits. When you hear soul-touching music, one never thinks of the years the musician spent alone in a dank practice room woodsheding the same 6 notes.
The way I figure it, “talent” is an illusion. Though we can be naturally good at something, we all work really hard to perfect the little things that no one knows about, but everyone seems to notice when they’re gone.
You have value, my friend. If you didn’t, I probably wouldn’t be subscribed to your blog. It’s just a matter of channeling that value positively and having the courage to look stupid every now and again.
Though as a poor college kid, I’ll have to agree with your thoughts on paycheck mentality. I’m sure that this post was meant for those in the workforce, but at this stage, I would accept canned goods as payment! It’s not that I don’t value myself, I just really want some food, so that I can actually get to my dream.
RL Davids last blog post..Meditation for Monday: Humility
@ RLD – Yes. Exactly. That’s it. I’m nodding through your comment, well said.
@James – I appreciate the compliment, especially when it comes from a celebrity
RL Davids last blog post..Meditation for Monday: Humility
Wow, great comments here! Thanks!
I suppose that instead of talent, it would have been more accurate for me to say skill. In fact, I wrote about the myth of “overnight success” not that long ago, citing people like Steve Pavlina, who read 700 books on personal development and made 11 cents an hour for a couple of years before his breakthrough, and Michael Jordan, who apparently had no talent or he wouldn’t have been cut from his high school basketball team.
I don’t question my value as a human being, only my ability to create value that people will pay for outside a normal 9-5 job. Clay Collins wrote about this today, citing the tiny overlap between things you really like to do and things you can do to make money soon.
I guess I’m just frustrated because it seems hard way out of proportion to what you’d expect. Providing value (in the company’s eyes) in a 9-5 job is a piece of cake. You don’t even necessarily have to do any work at all (depending on the company). Why are TPS reports valued so highly?
There’s also the whole “life is short” aspect to it, in that no one wants to be 40, 50, 60, or 70 before they start to see some modest success.
I know it’s not supposed to be easy, but I wish the path was at least more visible. OK, taking out my weed wacker…
Hunter Nuttalls last blog post..Akashic Record Reading With Akemi Gaines, Part 2
Harry,
Here you go, you are the great example of my target clients! Who would have thought a big guy like you are into tarots and astrology? And of course you are, you know the worth of understanding yourself better.
Don’t worry, my reading is genuine and very personal. That is why I have to spend so much time offline working on each reading.
Handsome, debonair, charming, intelligent, energetic, and generous King James,
(Whew, that was a mouthful to say. I need to practice it.)
My pleasure to have your presence here again.
Hunter,
I read your post on the overnight success. And you know why some people read the 700 books? Or work on the graphic designs that hardly pays (I’m sure Harry had those days before)? (BTW I’m placing order to MwP so I value his work a lot, just letting you know.)
I think you are frustrated because deep inside you sense your ego is making this too complicated than it really is.
RLD,
You explain things so well. (I’m talking about your comments on my interview at Hunter’s blog, too) I’m not a celeb but I like you a lot. And wait on — I will be a celeb for the celebs soon, bringing insights and comforts to those over-worked can’t-remember-who-I-was celebs. Would you like to be my spokesperson? Maybe you can bodyguard me, too, with your taekwondo.
I especially like “It’s just a matter of channeling that value positively and having the courage to look stupid every now and again.”
Thanks, Akemi! You know, I think that you’re a celeb too
RL Davids last blog post..Meditation for Monday: Humility
RL,
Haha, thanks!
Hi Akemi – I haven’t had a paycheck for years, so it’s tough to remember what it’s like to have paycheck mentality. I think it’s definitely harder for folk who set out on their own as service providers to ditch that mentality though. If they’re not outsourcing, or employing anyone to work and they’re providing the service themselves, I guess it’s easier for them to hold onto the belief that they must be earning a certain amount per hour.
I agree with others who have said you don’t need talent to run a business – gaining the skills you need is far more important.
Cath,
You make a point that it takes work to gain the skill. No one ever succeeded with talent alone, I guess.
And I see your point about service providers. It takes extra awareness to take initiative.
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