How To Find Your Life Purpose Through Your Life Challenges

February 24, 2009 by  

How to Find your Life Purpose

Learning the life lessons through experiences in the physical world has been the big part of our souls’ purpose for millenniums of years.  While some souls are graduating from this learning process recently, I know there are many souls who are still working on this level, and I want to help.   (Photo by FreeWine)

How our souls choose to learn our life lessons

When a soul is ready to incarnate, it determines a set of life lessons, and then choose the appropriate birth setting for the best learning opportunities.  Let’s say the soul wants to learn Abundance.  Now which of the following two settings do you think would provide the best learning opportunities?

  1. To be born to a wealthy family and just accept the abundance there
  2. To be born to a poor family and build his or her abundance, from rugs to riches

Yes, #2 is more challenging but rewarding.  So the courageous soul takes up the challenge.

The trouble is that we forget it when we come to this side of the world.  So now you don’t understand why you were born to poverty while plenty of others are born to reasonably wealthy families.  As you work your way working full time and taking evening classes, and every time you see other kids buying nice stuffs while you worry about paying the rent this month, you wonder, “Why?  Why is life so hard on me?”

The truth is you are right on track.

Let me give you another example of learning Love or Compassion.  For the same reason with Abundance, the soul may prefer to be born to a loveless family so they know firsthand what it is like not to have Love and Compassion.  So that they can grow up to be the Love to the world.

I don’t think we ever choose to learn something negative like Poverty.  We are evolving toward Light.

The pitfall of this “learning by contrast” process

Quite obviously, there is a problem about this learning by contrast process.  Because we are so shortsighted in this physical world and because we don’t clearly remember the life lessons we ourselves chose prior to birth, we may grow bitter and give up the learning altogether.

This is very sad.  Learning the life lessons is one of the purpose of life.  (Life is also about just experiencing this beautiful physical world and expressing our wonderful energy.)  There is no point in sulking and wasting our time.

The awareness of one’s own life lessons is probably one of the best gift of my Akashic Record Reading.  But you can also find your own life lessons through your life challenges.

5 steps to find your life lesson(s)

You need: a few pieces of paper and a few colored pens, a box of tissues, and some quiet time for yourself.

  1. On a piece of paper, write down the major challenges in your life. List as many as you want.  Some examples may include (but by no ways limited to):
    • Were you born to an abusive parent?
    • Did your parent die when you were young?
    • Were you born with physical limitations?
    • Were you born to an average middle class family but somehow had trouble connecting to others?
    • Did you repeatedly have trouble with authoritative figures?
    • Did you become a parent at very early age?
    • Did you want children but somehow could not have one?
    • Have you been in abusive relationships?
    • Have you been unhappy with your career?
  2. When you are done with step 1, review your list. Now go deeper.  For each challenges, find the quality you have been seeking in each negative situation and write it down in a different color. Connect to your own feeling rather than just jotting down typical answers. This is about YOU.  And try to come up with one or up to three words for each challenge.For example, if you were born to an abusive family, did you want Love? Acceptance?  Or maybe it prompted you to seek Autonomy?  Did it lead you to Compassion with people, animals, to nature?  Or maybe in your special case, it helped you to develop a sense of humor with Lightheartedness?
  3. Now review again.  Does a few word appear repeatedly?  Do you see a certain “quality”, a theme that runs through all or most of your challenges? On a second sheet of paper, write down what you think is the main theme, or the life lessons you have been working on.
  4. Examine the first list of your challenges with this new awareness of your life theme, or life lessons. Do you see how each “negative” situations contribute to the learning of your life lessons?  Take your time. This is a critical step that can change the way you see your whole life.
  5. If you notice a new theme or life lessons emerge from your worksheet, write it down on the second sheet of paper. Repeat step 4 and 5 until you get the “Aha!  This is it.  This is what my life is about!”

Pay attention to your emotional cues

The bigger the emotional hang-ups are, the more likely it is tied to your life lesson.  Is there someone in your life that you feel you can’t forgive?  Forgiveness or the quality that person lacked so much may be one of your life lessons.  Is there something you accused “God” for?  Trust or Openness may be your life lesson as well as the quality that improves that something.

180 degree change in how you see life

When you take the time – and more importantly, the courage – to do this exercise to find your life lessons, something magical happens.   Things that bothered you so much stop having the emotional grip on you. You stop going down the roller coaster that is so familiar to you.

Because now you see what you thought to be a horrible drawback in your life is not that at all.  They were learning opportunities!  And you see it so clearly, not like someone telling you “Well, what did you learn from it?” (Don’t we hate that question.)

People may keep saying unkind words.  They may point out you are disabled or been to jail or single or whatever.  That may annoy you but heck, you know the truth.  (Annoying is annoying.  A mosquito is annoying.  They don’t send you off the emotional shoot.)  You know those people are only talking about their own fear.

Learning the life lessons through positive learning experiences

Further, with the awareness of what your life lessons are, you can attract more positive learning experiences.  You don’t have to go through poverty to realize abundance.  If that is the case, you have to go bankrupt every few years to learn the life lesson of Abundance.  No.  You can learn abundance in a more expansive way.  In this example, how about expanding abundance beyond the monetary sense?  How about doing charity?

By becoming fully aware of your life lessons, you attract more positive learning experiences, which speeds up your learning process.  As a group, we humans are finishing up this “learning by contrast” process and becoming more about being.  So do work on your lessons and graduate the school of life!

Do you find this blog inspiring?

Please check About page to learn more about this blog and the author, Akemi Gaines.


29 Responses to “How To Find Your Life Purpose Through Your Life Challenges”

  1. Lisa (mommymystic) on February 24th, 2009 10:09 am

    Very useful post, I like the details you provide on how to surface these patterns and think about them differently. I don’t have a lot of dramatic challenges in this life like abuse or a physical disability or illness, but I feel I have certain samskaric patterns that have left me with residual anger that I have spent a lot of time working through in the lifetime, and I feel your post is very relevant to that also. And now that I am teaching meditation I find that I am attracting people with many of the same kinds of patterns, so I clearly see that my own work has been strengthened and shaped by the challenges I have had to work with. Thanks again for your insight!

    Lisa (mommymystic)s last blog post..Review – The Subtle Body: An Encyclopedia of Your Energetic Anatomy

  2. akemi on February 24th, 2009 5:20 pm

    That is another very interesting point — that you attract those who are working on the same or similar life lessons. Very true!

  3. Ari Koinuma on February 24th, 2009 9:13 pm

    Wow, what an awesome article. The first I’ve seen on approaching this topic from a spiritual point of view (without involving religion — although I suppose whole notion of soul and reincarnation is a specific world view).


  4. akemi on February 25th, 2009 9:21 pm

    I just came up of yet another way to figure it out — Who is your enemy? The quality they have or the opposite may be something you are seeking.

  5. Dot on February 27th, 2009 1:20 pm

    This is an interesting list and applies to me very well. The only thnig I don’t understand is why would we be created in such a way that we needed to learn any of those things. Couldn’t we have been created perfect in the first place?

  6. akemi on February 27th, 2009 7:31 pm


    That’s an excellent question.
    My short answer is: Because being perfect is — or was — boring.
    The Source is whole and perfect, and as the beings that came from the Source, we are whole and perfect. Just very completely perfect, no lack — aaaaagh, so boring. So we came up with a game plan. We created the illusion of lack and are playing this make-believe game of learning by contrast.

    This learning by contrast game is coming to an end, however, and that is what Ascension is all about. On the higher realm, there is no contrasts.

  7. Carlota on February 27th, 2009 7:39 pm

    “You know those people are only talking about their own fear.” That is so helpful to remember!
    “you can attract more positive learning experiences. You don’t have to go through poverty to realize abundance.” I really believe in this, but I still attract a lot of tough lessons :P

    So, how do you begin to attract “positive learning experiences” or rather, easier lessons?

  8. akemi on February 27th, 2009 7:54 pm

    Hi Carlota (that’s a fun name … a new name for me),

    Well, if you are getting big tough learning experiences, maybe you’ve got an ambitious strong soul. I don’t think you get more than you can handle. Your preference to easier lessons may be coming from your ego . . .

    Having said this ;) , the point is to have a clear awareness of what you are learning. For example, be aware you are learning Abundance, not poverty.

    And say thank you to all learning experiences, positive or negative. That will complete each section of the learning and speed up the process.

  9. Carlota on February 27th, 2009 9:59 pm

    Hmm, that’s interesting about the “easier lessons” and my ego. I went to a few healing classes through a place that gave clairvoyant (aura I think) readings and they kept mentioning that I’ve been “asking” for hard lessons in life, and I ought to try asking for easier lessons…such as learning from other people’s experiences and from books and listening to my intuition more…

    So, can you possibly explain in a little more detail what you mean by my ego might be “preferring” easier lessons? Thanks, it would be greatly appreciated.

  10. akemi on February 28th, 2009 8:35 am


    Well, as I wrote in the article, the soul chooses the life lesson and the best birth setting to learn these lessons. Again, the setting the soul chooses may be challenging — it may choose adversity than the easy path. Because adversity gives more contrast and the learning can be more effective this way.

    But we also have the ego, which is the part of us that makes judgment based on past experiences. Ego’s goal is survival. It doesn’t like challenges. So when you face a difficult situation, which may be the perfect learning opportunity for the soul, your ego may hate it.

    This doesn’t mean you have to go out to the street and deal with the horrible things there. Some problems are just that — problems. (and we can deal with them) But avoiding the life’s challenges that naturally comes your way can be counterproductive. From the soul’s perspective.

    Intuition, by the way, is a great resource. That is your spirit guides talking to you, helping you navigate through these challenges.

    Hope this helps. Let me know if you have more questions. I enjoy this kind of conversation a lot.

  11. Creating The New World, Part 1 Love | Yes to Me on April 2nd, 2009 4:16 pm

    [...] dimension. Everything is in alignment, and we call this love. In a sense, polarities have helped us learn our life lessons by providing contrast. But as we progress in Ascension and graduate from the school of life, we don’t need polarity any [...]

  12. Articles for a Better Life & Better Living (Carnival #29) on April 10th, 2009 9:13 am

    [...] Gaines presents How To Find Your Life Purpose Through Your Life Challenges posted at Yes to [...]

  13. Creating The New World, Part 2 Light | Yes to Me on April 20th, 2009 1:13 pm

    [...] Become more aware of your “problems”.  Problems are the means you chose to learn your life lessons with.  So don’t avoid or ignore them.  Rather, pay attention to what you are learning from the [...]

  14. Huge Carnival of Yoga, Meditation, Zen, Law of Attraction & More… on May 1st, 2009 12:43 pm

    [...] Gaines presents How To Find Your Life Purpose Through Your Life Challenges posted at Yes to [...]

  15. Yang on June 28th, 2009 9:48 pm

    After doing this I think my main ones were freedom and self-love.

    Freedom is a biggie for me.

    Freedom in expression, career, doing what you like, free to think, be and do who you really are, communication skills, and spiritual freedom (being able to control your thoughts, emotions, and destiny)

    This is a very unique post and I have enjoyed it. Very insightful post. Thanks Akemi.

  16. akemi on June 29th, 2009 12:16 pm

    Hi Yang,
    Thank you for doing the practice! I’m thrilled this post helped you.
    Love and freedom to you, Akemi

  17. Katie West/The Levity Coach on June 30th, 2009 4:59 am

    Akemi…this is so beautifully worded. It is very helpful for me because I am doing my life’s work as a coach and a laughter leader and a speaker –I have just followed where I have been lead in my life—but I actually have a hard time describing what it is that got me here…so I am going to go use your tools to figure out and put words to what it is that got me to this point.

  18. akemi on June 30th, 2009 5:04 pm

    Hi Katie,
    You are so welcome. Good luck with your business.

  19. What If Everything That Happens To You Is Good? | Yes to Me on September 17th, 2009 1:07 pm

    [...] when I say “learning opportunities”, there are mainly two things we can learn. One is the life lessons and associated lessons. We don’t have to learn them the hard way, but many of us do choose so. We [...]

  20. BitterandHonest on October 1st, 2009 8:45 pm

    my purpose is one that makes me cry from sadness! I am suprised I did not see this sooner. If I had I would not have made the mistake of dating people. Now I just hope that future suitors do not feel insulted if I ignore or bypass them.

    Thank God that’s over! :) Thank you for this page. God bless you!

  21. Dave on November 17th, 2009 1:49 pm

    Hi Akemi, great post. Interestingly for me I had started this process naturally. Recent events led me to look back over my life and see the major challenges. Straight away I saw a very strong pattern but not sure what the lesson actually is. Having trouble grasping where the positive is. So I had stepped back for a while, not sure how to proceed. Your post seems to have come to remind me to try again to find the learning, and suggests the way is to simply spend some time examining those events. As soon as I can find some space I will dive in… deep breath…
    thanks, Dave

  22. akemi on November 17th, 2009 5:26 pm

    Good. Blessings to you.

  23. Joy on November 23rd, 2009 1:43 pm

    Hi Akemi,

    Learning life lessons through experiences in the physical world is a big part of our souls’ purpose.

    We have choices regarding our birth in the physical world.

    There are certain souls we are closely interconnected with. We will meet these souls again in our future lives.

  24. akemi on November 23rd, 2009 7:55 pm

    Hi Joy,
    Yes. Good understanding.

  25. Review: Journey Of Souls By Michael Newton | Real Life Spirituality on February 28th, 2010 8:17 pm

    [...] Orientation is more about review of the life that just ended.  We review if we have learned the life lessons we ourselves planned to learn in that life.  There are special function Spirits who help us do [...]

  26. M. Zapien on August 6th, 2010 8:18 pm

    This article–yeah, the one that seemed simply to have appeared to me–is so spot on for my lessons today. Thank you, Akemi! Wow. My mind has been blown and I am looking forward to diving into your assignment.


  27. Evil And The Law Of Attraction | Real Life Spirituality on August 20th, 2010 8:23 am

    [...] with certain health challenges as a way of learning — after all, we are all here to learn our life lessons, and why is it so wrong to learn it through health challenges (or financial problems or [...]

  28. Dr.Shalini Poddar on April 2nd, 2011 2:57 am

    The whole discussion is so true.I am a past life regression therapist and a clinical psychologist.I have learned through my clients that after they get to know their life purpose they become so peaceful.They start taking responsibility and stop blaming,they feel empowered and have great clarity.Gradually circumstances in their life start becoming favourable to what they are doing since they are on their path.

  29. zalila on June 11th, 2011 7:05 pm

    Life is full of nice ways,

    but note, there is one way make the non-stop and full happiness…