Gratitude For Who I Am Now, Online Gratitude Journal #15
October 17, 2008 by Akemi
There is a pitfall in personal development
You are motivated to improve yourself and your life. You read personal development books and blogs and try new techniques eagerly. The visualization of success to utilize the law of attraction. New meditation technique. Maybe a new skill in time management. All is good, right? (Photo by Mr. Greenjeans)
Yes. As long as it starts with the appropriate starting point every time you adopt the new approach. And that is the acceptance of who you are as you are here and now.
You see how tricky it is? It’s so easy to forget this self acceptance part and jump to the improvement part. But when we do so, we start skidding. All the great techniques start to pressure you and push you further, not closer, from the love and joy you ultimately desire.
The horrible week I just went through
Now acceptance is easy to say. Let me tell you just a little bit about the little ding-dong I live with (that is, me). Things turned un-nice last Friday. I was invited to a dinner at a friend’s place. I was looking forward to this a lot – she is nice and it was also going to be a great opportunity for me to get to know some other people in this area. That afternoon, I went to the supermarket to get some salad greens and cheese to make the salad I was to bring. As I was driving, I suddenly noticed I had a headache. Of course, I ignored it.
I came home and thought I might take a bit nap – that would surely help me feel better. Well, no. The pain got worse and worse, accompanied with terrible stomachache. By 5:30, I had to admit to myself I wouldn’t be able to make it to the dinner. I called her and apologized. I felt bad for making her dinner salad-less and disappointing her.
I suffered over the weekend and started recovering earlier this week. I was working fine Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday evening, I had a phone session scheduled for my Akashic Record Reading. I felt a bit distracted that afternoon – things like the marketing of this blog weren’t working the way I want, etc. And – when I noticed, it was more than one hour after the scheduled time!
Embarrassed would be an understatement for the way I felt. I take pride in offering excellent service, and that includes being punctual. I had never missed a business occasion like this.
So . . . do I have to accept myself like this? Do I accept myself?
. . . yes. For the second blunder, of course I need to learn how to manage my schedule better, but still, that needs to start with seeing myself as I am and accepting her.
I was going to write more shortcomings about myself, like how terrible I am at finding directions when I drive or that greed that distracted me that Wednesday, but I think it’s getting too long. I trust you got the point.
And really – Akemi is not such a horrible person. Just a bit ding-dong (or whatever you call). I’m grateful for the person she is.
Link Love
Extend the love for who I am – extend it to all beings for who they are – right here and now. As if everyone and everything just came into existence here and now. No reasoning for the love, no attached “stories” for things are not. I think that is what Andrea talks about in her post Attachment and Manifesting What We Want.
Do you love quotes? It looks like Hunter Nuttall had the love and lots of time in his college days. Check out his 1,000,001 Things I Wish I Had Said First. I just wish it’s categorized so that I can find good quotes that fits well in my writing, but even as it is, it’s so much fun to read any part of it. I think this may be one of the great example of how to make money doing what you love.
Make things as simple as possible, but no simpler. — Albert Einstein
My Law of Attraction Dream Money Project, Week 14, $819,200
I want to review this Dream Money Project< before it hits the million dollar mark. This is a fun way to expand your wealth consciousness. I started with $100 of dream money that I can use on anything I like. The money doubles every time I write this Gratitude Friday series. It’s quite challenging to come up with creative ways to use the money.
The way I see it is the dream spending must be something that resonates with myself, something I want to get or do really if I had that money. Here are the ways I’ve spent the money so far:
Week 1, $100 for a drive to the coast (Done!)
Week 2, $200 for an iPod nano and music download
Week 3, $400 for strawberries and gorgeous lingerie (Sounds sexier than it was, huh?)
Week 4, $800 for donation to good cause
Week 5, $1,600 for antique furniture
Week 6, $3,200 for trip to Italy and Spain
Week 7, $6,400 for arts I like
Week 8, $12,800 for trading up to Prius
Week 9, $25,600 for down payment of my new townhouse
Week 10, $51,200 for a community garden with a little gazebo
Week 11, $102,400 for free-for-all day at the local art museum with lunch reception
Week 12, $204,800 for foundation to explore soul-mind-body relationship
Week 13, $409,600 for my secret beach house, purchased by cash
(Sorry there is a discrepancy between the week of this Dream Money Project and the Gratitude Friday. It’s because I started the Dream Money Project on week 2 of Gratitude Friday.)
So what do I want to do with this week’s $819,200? I can buy an apartment house and become a landlord. That will bring a nice chunk of passive income. Or maybe I can buy a yacht for my beach house. I love the ocean so that will be nice (although I have no idea how to operate it. . .)
One of the comment to my post Spiritual Money Practice To Eliminate Poverty got my attention. Abundance starts from within, but how can someone surrounded by poverty perceive abundance? I know it’s difficult but I think it’s possible. And that can bring huge change.
Think about India. Just several decades ago, it was one of the poorest country in the world. Now the economy is booming and they can’t find enough people to fill positions. On the other hand, most countries in Africa stay in poverty. I know, I know, there are many factors like the wars in Africa, but still, it’s an interesting contrast.
I think the difference originated in their mindset. India remembers its past glory and has kept their abundance mindset even during the challenging times. That, with their commitment to education, has made the difference.
I want to donate books to schools in Africa to help them see the big picture and start cultivating their abundance mindset. Let’s see, with the budget of $500 per school, $819,200 can cover 1638 schools. If I can get some publishers to help, $500 can buy quite a few books. Along with books for basic education of reading (I encourage them to learn English – it can open a lot of doors) and math, I want books like The Secret and Ask And It Is Given.
I’m grateful for the beautiful autumn leaves, new crop of apples of so many varieties, and matsutake and other mushrooms (yummy!). I heard we can go matsutake hunting in Oregon mountains. . .
Next week, I’ll resume the Inside Out Approach To Entrepreneurship. Have a great weekend!
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Your story about missing the appointment sounds especially awful to me because a similar thing happened to me yesterday. 6 months ago I set a dentist appointment for yesterday at 8:30 AM. Back then, 8:30 was a perfectly reasonable time for me. These days, it would take an absolute miracle for me to be up at that time. I really tried though, and I have a vague recollection of waking up on time, but I don’t remember what happened. The next thing I know, it was 8:45, and I got a phone call asking “Where are you?” Fortunately I had the idea of leaving my phone next to my bed!
Thanks for linking to my quote list. Last night I separated the funny quotes into their own section, and I hope to eventually have other sections, but it’s meant to be designed around SEO instead of usability. However, if there’s a quote you’re looking for, just tell me who said it, their date of birth, and their location, and I’ll go fetch the record for you! (Sorry, a little Akashic record joke.)
Hunter Nuttalls last blog post..Steve Pavlina Vs. The ThunderCats
Akemi…
It sounds as though you had a rough weekend. Don’t be too tough on yourself, we all daydream and lose track of time, even if we are trying to live in the now. I will admit that being an hour late for business isn’t ideal.
Have a better weekend this time around….
Brians last blog post..How’s your Emotional Bank Account?…
My drive for success in what I did for a long time was tied to one word: attitude.
I discovered it many years ago in a set of motivational tapes by Earl Nightingale.
Attitude is a choice.
For a long time I lived by it…, then I just accepted it…, then paid lip service to it…, and finally pretty much lost all focus on it. Naturally, my attitude suffered and my work suffered.
I think you have to be who you are, but also you can shape who you are by deciding what your attitude is going to be.
Akemi, this world can be so dense, and the density can be such a challenge to our divinity. In a world where divinity meets density, we need to remember to be good to ourselves, especially when things don’t go the way we expect them to go. Of course, you already know this, which is why it’s important to give ourselves little reminders that it’s okay to be a tad less than who we are from time to time. And it always seems to be a tad less, doesn’t it? Just enough to throw us off course and remind us of our humanity, our vulnerability, our fragility. Which is a good thing, for how else could we ever appreciate our divinity, our strength, our wisdom.
Namaste,
Christopher
Hi Akemi – some weeks just go like that. It can’t be helped. And it must be difficult managing the time differences when you’re doing your readings.
Donations to Africa is a good idea. It’s so true – the civil wars don’t help, as any food there is goes to the fighters. And agribusiness makes things hell of alot worse. Most of the time the folk there are just trying to keep their heads above water but they have one brick after another piled on top of them.
India is really beginning to boom isn’t it? Good for them. I’ve met so many smart hardworking people from India.
Hunter,
I see you are indulging in your newly found employment-free life! Good for you. It does change our perception, doesn’t it?
You know a lot about SEO, I guess. I’d love to read more about it in your blog. It’s still such a mystery to me.
Brian,
Okay. There is a story about that missed phone session, though. I emailed my client a written report of his reading to make up the missed phone session, and he likes it. So I’d like to think I’ve proved that the quality of my Akashic Record Reading has nothing to do with me not being quite punctual.
Mike,
You are right. The order is critical, though. First acceptance, then improvement.
Christopher,
Thank you for your kind remark. I’m definitely tad less than my full potential. . . and I so wish I could move faster in this dense physical world. . .
Cath,
India is amazing. They are SO smart! I guess the Indians I know in the US are the cream of the whole group, but still, it makes me wonder how they could achieve so much so quickly.
Peace needs to come before we could eliminate poverty.
Thank you, everyone, for your kind comments. You guys make my Friday!
Hi Akemi. I can understand how you must have felt about missing your scheduled appt time. I hope that client was understanding. They say there’s a reason for everything.
Davinas last blog post..25 Words That Connect Us — Frosty Sunrise
Eh…. I can relate, as I was late almost 30 minutes for a first appointment with a new vet for our cat. Ana ga attara hairi tai.
Accept….yes, I can accept…..
ari
Ari Koinumas last blog post..Blog Action Day: Abundance
Davina,
Well . . . he was very upset and we haven’t really resolved the issue yet. But as I mentioned in my comment above, he is still impressed with my reading.
It was a good reminder for me to cover the basics. I have a tendency to be looking forward and be a bit absent in the now.
Koinuma-san,
Gee, so many tardy people around, commenting and commiserating ^_^
Maybe I need to write about my shortcomings more often to boost my blog traffic.
Akemi,
Great post. Might I recommend some Pema Chodron to help with the non-personal development?
Also, India can be misleading (as can Africa) – there is still horrible and atrocious poverty in most of the country. It’s the tech centers that are booming. The dangers of the aggregate, I suppose… Still, the whole developing world is on the up.
deepalis last blog post..the fake america
Deepali,
I heard lots of great things about Pema Chodron! Thank you for reminding.
I guess there are lots of poverty left in India, and Africa can’t be described in a few words either.
Great blog. India’s economy is improving since these past years. They do have smart people that receives recognization from other countries. Although the economy is improving, there are still not much improvement/development for the ordinary people.
Azhagiya Tamilmagans last blog post..Change If You Want Different Result
Azhagiya,
Thanks for stopping by. India is surely worth watching!
Aloha Akemi,
This part of your post really tapped my tonsils…you know like a tickle in your throat …
“You see how tricky it is? It’s so easy to forget this self acceptance part and jump to the improvement part. But when we do so, we start skidding. All the great techniques start to pressure you and push you further, not closer, from the love and joy you ultimately desire.” I’ve just finished a big push with launching the twin blogs and used a lot of energy to accomplish the birth. So many thanks to you and your tribe of bloggers for the inspiration and the waves of ‘yes-to-me.’ Today, I am celebrating with extra visits to my Futon Altar of appreciation. I am sending prayers of acceptance to spirit as I rest, restore and be.
Mokihana
Mokihana,
Futon Altar — I like that. I think it’s time I hit it myself.
[...] Dream Money Project has been a fun way to stretch my wealth consciousness. But I feel I’ve done enough of that. [...]