Freedom From The Fear Of Death
December 5, 2008 by Akemi
Is the fear of death interfering your enjoyment of life? Do you think you’d live so much more courageously and fully if you could be free from the fear of death? Even if you are afraid of even talking about death, please stay around. I can show you why you don’t need to be that scared. (photo by sirwiseowl)
My first memory from age 15 months about death
My very first memory is from a day when I was 15 months old. For a long time, I thought this happened much later in my life, but my mother confirmed the date because that morning, she took me to the periodic checkup and she remembered the event in the afternoon, too.
(I guess we discredit the babies’ ability a lot. Just because they can’t explain things in words doesn’t mean they don’t understand nor remember. I’m not surprised if someone remembers the day he or she was born or even earlier.)
I remember I was wearing a dress. My mother was one of those old-fashioned people who would dress up even the small kids when she was to go “out” — meaning going outside of the everyday range of our lives. So, even though I usually wore comfortable cotton pants and shirts, that day I was wearing a dress. I hated it. Even worse than the dress were what I was forced to wear on my little feet. I had patent leather shoes and white socks with nylon lace around the ankle. The lace irritated my skin.
My mother and I were somewhere very crowded. There were huge vehicles, much bigger than the cars I was used to see around my place. They roared and shook the ground, and I was scared. (My mother later told me we went to the train station. Those were buses and industrial trucks.) Many many people moving around.
Death as separation
I didn’t quite understand what was going on. What I knew was that I didn’t want to cross the road. I squatted on the sidewalk. (This is why I remember my socks so well.) Now here is the weird part. It wasn’t like my mother was trying to kill both of us (she wanted to visit her mother, who lived in another city), but somehow I though of death while watching those traffic and sitting on the sidewalk.
I knew, right then, death was about separation. “Once we cross over to the other side, there is no coming back.” I thought, and the very sense of distance and the irreversible nature of the change dazzled me. For a one-year-old, that was a pretty good understanding of death, I think. (This may be my first channeling experience. That is, the understanding came from the spiritual plane.)
The physical changes such as not breathing or the heart not beating are superficial signs of death. Death is about moving on to another side of existence — to “cross over”.
Double standard of death in organized religions
Much later in my life, I had this dream about death that had the joyous sense of going home. In that dream, death was a completion of this lifetime that could be accepted with peace.
Death of a loved one is sad because it is about separation. We lose them – as they were in the physical form. Very sad and we do ourselves service by spending time in mourning.
However, it is important to note that death is not a punishment. Gosh, if death was a punishment, the whole life is condemned. It’s like running into a 100% certain catastrophe! And some religions teach you can buy salvation from this catastrophe? OMG. While I respect everyone’s faith, I must say some organized religions manipulate their congregations with fear tactics, by setting up double standard about death.
One of their teaching is that death is bad and people who die young did something wrong. (Or died for everyone else’s sins. . .) So their congregations run around fearing death, the image of death tainted with guilt and shame. On the other hand, they say heaven is our home and the dead is happy there.
Death as transformation process and life after death
Everything in this physical world is designed to end. That is how things get renewed here. But we are not just our bodies. Our soul, the energy within us, moves on after it leaves its host body. So death is a transformation process. There are many past life regression therapists such as Dr. Weiss who support this view of death. It’s great we are finally liberating ourselves from the myth and fear of death.
I’m happy I help people see through their many lifetimes in my Akashic Record Reading service. It’s another way to understand ourselves as spiritual beings that transcends deaths.
Are you afraid of death? Are there any aspects of death that you are confused about? Let me know by writing it in the comment 
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Hi Akemi: My first memory is of the day my parents brought my little brother home from the hospital; I was 2 and a half. And that certainly is a good understanding of death for a 15 month old. I think a lot of the fear people feel in life can be traced back to a fear of death.
Akemi, I like that you’re comfortable discussing this topic. My first memory: sitting alone on stairs in my home when I was two years old, in absolute terror as I listened to deafening cracks of thunder and watched brilliant flashes of lightning repeat themselves over and over and over again. You might say that I was afraid of being killed. My perception of death has since evolved over the years. As I understand death now, it is both an absolute end and a new beginning – an absolute end to what I know of my life as I am now and a fresh beginning to live another life, at another time, in another place. One of the great mysteries of life and death is why we choose to forget who we are as we evolve from one lifetime to the next. For me, non-return is a misnomer, a temporary respite from the rigors of incarnational learning, growth, and experience, which goes on forever and ever for everyone, without exception, through eternity and beyond.
Christopher
This is interesting, because I too remember distinctly when I was about 4 or 5, when I actually questioned my own existence and pondered upon the meaning of life. I remember thinking what was the point in life when we’ll eventually die and everything comes to an end?
I remember feeling upset then, looking out of the window of a 10th floor apartment, and actually wondering about ending my life then, because to me, it didn’t make much difference between living a life for 5 years and ending, and living a life for 70 years and ending.
I no longer question about my existence though I will always remember this.
Marelisa,
We remember our babyhood pretty well, don’t we?
Christopher,
There are still a lot of mystery about death. That keeps us going, right?
I think the amnesia helps us from getting too overwhelmed with memories of so many lifetimes . . .
Winnie,
I understand. I felt very similarly when I was a child. For me, the fun of life kept me going despite the uncertainty of my life purpose.
Akemi, at a certain level of maturity, selective amnesia about previous lifetimes helps us to keep our focus on what we can remember in our current lifetimes, but as I’m sure you’re aware, there are those of us who are advancing to a place in our evolution where we’re absorbing more and more of our memories from previous lifetimes. The presence of mystery surrounds life and death. From one point of view, death is an end; from another, it’s a transition. What seems to keep us going day to day are the endless obsessions and compulsions to resolve the tensions between the presence of mystery and the promise of mastery, whether such tensions are conscious or not, consciously generated or not. From the view of full awareness in life and death, we no longer live our lives; our lives live us!
Christopher
Hi Christopher,
You know, I am so really glad you are here to write these thoughtful comments. (Do you want to write articles, too?)
Yes, many of us are evolving to the point that it is beneficial to remember past lives, and I think this is why people like myself are doing Akashic Record Reading, and also there are past life regression therapists. All supported by growing interest of the many people who are waking up spiritually.
Hi Akemi, thanks for the note of appreciation. We all have our favorite bloggers and I’m no exception. When I read a blogger who consistently produces quality posts with which I resonate, I can’t help but leave thoughtful comments that add to the discussion, and at the same time, allow me to clarify my thinking.
It’s a great time to be alive just because so many are waking up spiritually, and I think it’s wonderful that you have a growing audience for your spiritually oriented posts and your professional reading service. As for myself, and as odd as this is going to sound, I’m letting life live my life, with no fix on what I intend to do (yet).
Christopher
Hi Akemi. I don’t fear death, just how it will happen. And I imagine there is a bit of fear, kind of like stage fright… just before taking that leap; before stepping into the spotlight.
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Davina,
You are so right! I don’t think I am completely free of fear of death. That probably won’t happen because of the physical nature we have here. Transformation does take a bit of stage fright.
Akemi – It is brilliant that you remember this. I read somewhere that once we are 2, we forget everything that happened before, because the trauma of birth would be too much for us to bear.
It does make me wonder if this forgetting is also because we remember death from our last life? Perhaps you could still remember this, at that time and that is why you understood so much about death?
Hi Akemi,
I grew up in a Baptist church and always marvelled how people readily accepted conflicting messages about how joyful it’ll be to get to Heaven, and yet no one looked forward to death, the only way to get there.
You’re absolutely right about so many faiths depending on building fear of death among their members.
It wasn’t until I read Many Lives, Many Masters that life began to make sense. Learning about reincarnation gave me a feeling of comfort. I could understand death being a transition to another expression.
That said, I’m torn about how I want my family to dispose of my body. When I think of being burned or buried, neither appeals to me. I know is just a container for my soul and the quickest thing for them would be cremation, but this is a tough decision.
I’ve already decided that I”ll make my transition quietly in bed one day.
Cath,
Interesting … I think the main reason why we forget our babyhood is because we learn language. Before acquiring language, we just remembered events as they were — not explanation, no labeling, just as they were. But we have to learn language, and language is about labeling, about matching words to concepts. As our mind gets busy with this process, the memories with no labeling slip off and give way to more defined, explained things and events.
So I think artists remember better. I read that Georgia O’Keeffe, one of my favorite artists, remembered a picnic when she was 8 months old. Like in my case, her mother acknowledged the timing — rather reluctantly. She remembered her young aunt’s dress and the sun and many people talking and laughing.
Hi Flora,
Many Lives Many Masters is truly a great book. Did you read my book review?
I understand your concern about how the body be treated after death. We want to show respect to the dead and the body that carried our soul for so long.
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Hey Akemi! My favourite quote from Byron Katie (I might get the words wrong though) is that fear of death is the last barrier to love. Once you overcome that, that’s the only time you can truly love someone unconditionally.
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With the amount of people that surround you daily, sooner or later somebody would mention the word “death”. It is such a scary wording when you hear everyone crying about it, and being so afraid of such a subject. I’m afraid because of the fact that everyone else is. When I see the gorgeous nature surrounding me that will not be with me upsets me alot. That also is the sad part. Missing our nature.
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