I am doing fine. My business (Akashic Record Reading) is fine, too, with ever increasing clients. I’d like to express my appreciation on this occasion.

The only reason I haven’t been posting is because I feel I have pretty much said all I have to say.

Sure, I can write more about Ascension. However, I have found that some people use this knowledge as a way to boost their ego, as in “I believe I am in Ascension; I am better than the rest of you” They are usually negative souls or confused souls, and most of them don’t really know about their Akashic Records nor Ascension. Honestly, if Ascension means there will be a huge spaceship to pick up such “chosen people”, I’d rather stay on Earth.

People who are really in the process of Ascension (yes, it’s a process, not a one time big event) don’t speak like that. They are okay on their own.

I can also write more about Starseeds, such as how each starseed interacts with one another. Perhaps there will be a time I’d be motivated to do this. At this time, I think my past articles on each starseed are sufficient especially for casual viewers who just want to get quick ideas about them.

I will keep this blog running and you are welcome to read and discuss issues with one another through comments. I do go around for maintenance periodically and will delete spams.

Update July 21, 2011: I am closing comments for posts older than six months. They are still available for your review but I just think they have had their time to be discussed.

If you are rather new to this site, please explore through the categories or the archive. There are 250 articles on various issues in life, and I hope the information and insights help you.

If you are interested in how I am doing personally . . . well, I still keep up with Facebook. I mean barely. I bought a DSLR camera last month and am learning some photography tricks. I hope to go on hikes when the weather in Oregon gets a bit better. Oh, and I started a new food and health blog in Japanese. (It’s here for the few of you who can read it…) Oh, and another thing if this is important to you — I started eating meat again. It feels right for me to get more protein.

As I wrote in the last article “Everything Is Perfect As It Is”, it really is.

No related posts.

I cannot make sense of it all, so I am writing about it. (Hmm. This part of me who likes writing seems to be still here.)

Like today, I went out for a walk and ended up running perhaps quarter of the time. Running? Isn’t that something I’ve hated since I was in kindergarten? But I felt so light, I really wanted to run, and would have run all the way if I could. (My metaphorical heart is there, but my physical heart isn’t ready — the body needs some time for adjustment, I guess.)

And I put out a notice on my Akashic Record Reading site that I am currently not taking orders.

My work and me

Like most people, work has been a big part of my self-definition. Akemi as Akashic Record Reader and spiritual coach. And I know I’ve been super lucky — I have enjoyed using my gift to help people, the business is thriving, and my clients are happy. I’m even publishing my first book soon — this is when I should be marketing and working extra hard. So why stop now? Isn’t this crazy?

I agree it’s crazy. But there is a part of me that says, “I am more than this work!” and the voice is growing bigger daily.

Spiritually, this all makes sense actually. Life is like a computer simulation game. When you master a phase of a game, do you stay there? Of course not, you move on for new challenges. My soul wants to move on exactly because the business has been good and I’m publishing my book (one of my big dreams of life). It’s just my ego who insists on staying in the comfort zone.

(Note: I may figure out a way to balance my new thing — whatever that may be — and the Akashic Record Reading. If there is a fun new way to integrate the two. So don’t worry if you wanted a reading — I will open the door again.)

So what’s next?

Great question. I don’t know exactly what it is.

I do know what I want to experience: Even greater love.

For one, I want to feel I am completely supported by the Universe (or Source or God, whatever you call it). I do know I am supported — when I need extra cash, new orders rush in. It’s a miracle every time it happens. And yet, I still have some fear, the nagging fear that says “you must work hard to survive.”

No, my soul says, the Universe loves everyone. Hardworking or not. Work is about love, doing what I love to do and sharing it with others. Money flows separately. On the surface, it may look like the work is bringing in money, but energetically, it’s not.

Second, my love of nature is growing gigantic. I have always loved nature, but the way I loved it was at an arm’s length. For example, I might be so moved by the sunset — for 15 minutes or so. That’s still a significant experience, but it was isolated from the rest of my life.

I want to spend more time in the nature. Like all day, or days. I want to see what happens if I throw myself in the arms of the nature.

Now I must tell you, I grew up in a big city and never had a chance even to go hiking overnight. As much as I love the outdoor air, the trees, the changing light of the sun and the moon, I also have serious fear about bugs, animals, and what not. So this dream of spending more time in nature is kinda ridiculous.

The wanderlust

I’m also tempted to travel. And I have hated traveling. I consider myself as a migrant not a traveler — I moved from Japan to the U.S., from Ohio to Tennessee to Oregon, but once I settle in one place, I have seldom traveled. Even during the summer vacation season, I usually stayed around doing the “stay-cation”.

Part of the reasons is I am so sensitive. I can’t sleep in a hotel bed. They don’t use 100% cotton sheets and many hotels are located on busy, noisy streets. And of course, I dislike the busy roads and airports.

But on the other hand, I dream of seeing new horizons. America is a continent — if I drive all the way, I can drive from west coast to east coast, or from Canada to Mexico. For someone from the island country, this is so romantic.

I know the color of the sky changes depending on the location and the season. How does it look in Montana? In Maine? How does the air smell there?

The body awareness

And, whether the mind is ready or not, my body seems to be getting ready anyway. This is another thing that surprises me. I have never been athletic. Throughout my school days, people made fun of me because I was no good at sports.

I’m probably still no good at competitive sports, but these days, I just love how I feel when I ride my bike or when I walk — and yes, run. I do yoga every morning. I just love, love, love the sense of lightness and strength in me.

Again, right now, I can’t do much — I get muscle pain easily so I can’t continue long. But my yearning to move around is so strong.

So really, what’s next?

I don’t know. Do I want to travel across America like Ariel Bravy? (By the way, I met him the other day. He is even more inspiring in person than he is in his blog.) Live in the nature like Robin Easton? (Perhaps a bit of a stretch for me. . . but it’s a fascinating idea.) Hike like Stacey Mattews? (Okay, I need more training. . .) Or something else? I guess I can make a few small trips first to see how I feel?

For now, I’m just embracing this new uncertainty. You know, the mysterious chaos of energy before something takes place? Something will. Something wonderful
(Photo credit)

No related posts.

As some of you commented, the last post “What Does It Mean To Grow Spiritually?” was a big turning point for me. More accurately, there was a big change within me that made me write that article. I was finally freed from the endless burden to grow or to develop, to be better than I am now. That was a delusional assignment I gave myself, based on my own judgments. The truth is, and always has been, always will be, that I am whole and complete already and I don’t need to push myself.

Let me repeat: God never demands you to be “better”. You are deeply and completely loved already for who you are. It was us who thought we are not “enough” and obligated ourselves for improvement.

I mentioned the story of Adam and Eve in that article, so I might also say this: While we are judging — ourselves and others (same thing) — we automatically shift out of Eden because the energy of judgment is not compatible with the field energy of Eden. So returning to Eden is possible and instantaneous. Drop judgment, choose love.

Not working on improvement puts you in the Now

When we are working to be better than we are already (or so it seems — all the changes we can make are superficial), our focus is sent to the delusional state of the future. We are not really living in the Now. Now is considered worthless — not good enough — and effectively ignored.

So dropping judgment brings us back to the Now.

The other day, it dawned on me to check a bike shop. Eugene is very bike friendly and I see many cyclists, yet I was never serious about getting a bike before. I had plenty of excuses. “It rains from November to June in this area. Then it’s hot in the summer. When would I ride a bike anyway?” “All the bikes they sell are too big for me.” etc.

That day, I walked in, test drove one of the few bikes that fit me, loved the way I felt riding it — I feel like a little kid! They had two color choices and I picked the one in black and silver. Done deal. Really simple.

When do I ride it? It’s a beautiful autumn day today, so why not ride it today? That’s when. Now.

Changing because I am not trying to change myself

It’s the zen-like paradox of spirituality. Since I quit changing myself, I am changing really fast.

I notice I act like a little kid these days — even when I am not on the bike I sing and dance silly made-up songs when I do the dishes. Overall, moving my body feels good and I am spending a lot more time doing various forms of movement, including one hour yoga every morning.

The joy and awe of life I felt as a kid is coming back to me.

I also find I am losing the sense of self-importance. I am who I am. Just as you see in front of you. Why the heck do I need to put on the air of importance? If you don’t like me, please feel free to pass on me.

What can a spiritual teacher do?

So, when the hierarchal view peels off along with the sense of self-importance (or the self-imposed need for improvement, really two sides of the same coin), what do I do as author of this spirituality blog?

Quit blogging?

I probably don’t mind that, but there is just one thing. It doesn’t seem there are many people who is enjoying this child-like bliss. It escaped me for a long time and honestly still escapes me from time to time. Many people have never had it as an adult.

Returning to Eden is easy and instantaneous, but not many people are finding the path. (No surprise here, really, because they are seeking outside of themselves.)

Is there something I can do for them? Like, reminding them to look inside? Reminding you that you are already whole and loved?

This is tricky, I guess. I’m going to sound really contradictory if I present the HOW-TO of spiritual remembering while I already wrote it’s instantaneous. Do I want to do that? Maybe?

And if I choose to do it, is writing the best method?

Okay, this post is intended to be a progress report, so let me stop here. Let me know if you have any request for this blog, and have a good day!

Related posts:

1. Spiritual Development Paradox
2. For The Love Of Life And Nature