What If Everything That Happens To You Is Good?

September 17, 2009 by  

good and bad
I guess the common sentiment we have about life is, “Well, there are good things and bad things that happen in life. We can’t help it. Just enjoy the good and lie low when bad things happen.”

So we are grateful when we receive “good” things like loving relationships, friends and family, foods on the table and the roof over the head, the money that gets these good things, the job — the income source, health, long life, and so on.

And we don’t like “bad” things like loneliness, relationship problems, hunger, poverty, job loss, obesity, illness, disability, aging, and death. We don’t even like thinking about them, and when it happens, we are upset, confused, resentful, and wish they go away ASAP.

This is just natural, right?

The challenge of the hypothesis

My spirit guides challenged me a few weeks ago (the week before my moving, to be exact) with the question, “What if everything that happens to you is good?” I immediately knew this is right, but it took me a while to put it into reason.

“Like EVERYTHING?” You may be thinking. “What is good about a psycho boyfriend / girlfriend, or hopeless poverty, or painful disease?”

Well, yes. They are good because they are great learning opportunities. You didn’t bring it up to reality if they were no good. (Remember you are creating your own life and the world?)

Now when I say “learning opportunities”, there are mainly two things we can learn. One is the life lessons and associated lessons. We don’t have to learn them the hard way, but many of us do choose so. We have discussed this into detail already on this Yes to Me blog.

Another is the crooked thinking patterns we have. These “bad” things are like an alarm going off, “There is something kinked up in you, please take a look!” Alarm is annoying but not bad.

Let me put it this way. God sends us love, love, and more love. Unconditionally. They are all good. But some gifts are a bit different. God may be sending you a bit of herbal medicine or a gift card to chiropractor because God noticed there is something about you that needs care, even if you may not have noticed. And you complain that the medicine tastes bad or you are too busy to go to the chiropractor.

Now I got tested about this hypothesis right away. . .

What is a traffic ticket trying to say?

On my first moving day (I spent two days moving, first doing the move in, then doing the move out with movers carrying my furniture), I was driving on a freeway and just casually tried to change my lane. I guess I wasn’t looking well enough. The car on the fast lane horned, I got back to my lane, and . . . well, the police car was right behind me.

Few things are more embarrassing and annoying than getting a traffic ticket. And seeing an angry cop’s face in the rear-view mirror.

So what is good about this? I need to learn how to drive safe? Well, maybe that’s included, but that’s not all.

After I was released, I was talking to myself. I actually talked aloud in my car because I wanted to see how this worked:

Akemi 1: So what is good about this traffic ticket? This just sucks.

Akemi 2: Well, let’s see. Why do you think it’s bad?

Akemi 1: Because I hate cops.

Akemi 2: He wasn’t too bad. I’d say he treated me quite fairly — he didn’t yell or do something intimidating. He was just doing his job, and even if you don’t like him, so what? It’s not like you have to marry him.

Akemi 1: This is going to be on my driving record. (And on my Akashic Records, too!) And I have to pay the fine.

Akemi 2: Yes, it will take up some of my time, depending on what you want to do with it. We can go to the court or we can just pay it.

Akemi 1: I hate paying the fine! And it’s not just the fine, the auto insurance premium will go up, too, you know.

Akemi 2: Yes, but we can pay.

Akemi 1: I . . . I’m afraid. It will cost a lot. Insurance is expensive.

At this point, I stopped and thought. So aside from the emotional unpleasantness (which is only temporary), what’s really bothering me is the financial concern? Really?

Our hidden fear and why we hold onto it

Now I know that, when we have fear, it’s because we are holding onto it. Most fears are temporary — like, you may get serious fear if another car comes too close to you, but that goes away pretty quickly. And we are holding onto the fear because we are afraid of something else that may come if we let go of the first fear. So in this crooked logic, holding onto the first fear feels safer.

Akemi 2: Are you afraid of becoming poor? But it’s not likely we become poor with one traffic ticket. What is the real issue? Am I getting something by holding onto this fear of poverty?

Akemi 1: . . .

Akemi 2: Does being concerned about money make you feel safe? What’s going to happen if I release this fear of poverty?

The answer that came out of my own mouth surprised me.

Akemi 1: . . . I might become wildly rich.

Gee. Really. But it seems true. Fear of wealth is far bigger than fear of poverty. I wasn’t aware of this before.

Opportunity to examine your fear

Fear of wealth or fear of success is a tricky one. We use lack of money or opportunity as an excuse of not living a great life. I think many of us are secretly afraid of living a full happy life even when we say the complete opposite. It involves a huge responsibility to oneself (to God) to live that way.

Are you doing something similar to what I was doing? Are you afraid of releasing your crazy partner (or afraid of getting out of the pattern of having relationship with crazy partners, therefore switching from one crazy one to another) because without them, you are faced with yourself, and you have no distraction nor excuse not to express your great self and live your life purposefully?

Are you holding onto your health problem and your fear of recovering to great health because, without the health problem, you have little to complain and commiserate, and you are afraid of losing people’s attention? And because you are afraid you may have a miraculous healing power science hasn’t uncovered yet? And again, without the disease, you have no excuse not to live a great life?

I guess I may be upsetting some people especially with the last one. I’m not a doctor and I don’t claim to know your health condition nor your possibility to recover. I do have a feeling many people cling to their condition as an excuse. One of my Spirit Guides Coaching client was this way. Her spirit guides was urging to let go of certain things, but she was absolutely against it. Just to be sure, I asked her about her medical diagnosis, and all she could say was something that happened more than 20 years ago. She was taking full advantage of her (past) health problem and was nowhere near releasing it, even though she insisted the opposite.

So what really happens if everything that happens to you is good?

Then you just have to accept this universe is absolutely benevolent and loving. There is just no way you don’t live as an empowered free soul, expressing your gifts and strengths, and living a full life of love and joy. No point about complaining, fighting, accusing, or even “working on the problem” — we can just go straight to the point and live our life fully.

My feeling is that, in the past, our awareness was not clear enough to see this so we perceived certain things as “bad” based on superficial consequences. However, we are growing up to see the bigger picture.

When our awareness really grows, everything starts to look really good, even without thinking, “Okay, this may be a learning opportunity. . .” We get to be grateful for everything there is. We get to see everything as the divine gifts that they are. That, my friends, is the entrance to the heaven on Earth. (Photo credit)

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15 Responses to “What If Everything That Happens To You Is Good?”

  1. Evita on September 17th, 2009 2:35 pm

    OH MY GOD Akemi this was so amazing to read!

    Again such a new and awesome topic to cover and I loved it, just loved it! Perhaps I am biased but I believe this, I live this.

    I do not go for those paradigms or metaphors like, “life is a bed of roses one day and then a nest of thorns another” or that “life is all about ups and downs” or that “nobody’s life is perfect” or “if it is not one thing, then it is another”….and you get the point.

    No, it is actually very, very possible to live life where everything, and as you say EVERYTHING that happens to you is good.

    One way to achieve this I find is to change your perspective about, well everything. We are always in control of turning every so called “bad” situation into a “good” one. (I.E. what you did above)

    The second thing we can do is master consciousness. If we could really live in the present moment and be conscious of our thoughts, but especially words and actions, we actually would be able to attract to ourselves only those things which we find pleasant. (I.E. the second thing that could have also been done to prevent the ticket)

    Either way, there is no right or wrong way, better or worse way to go here. The point is – it is possible!!! And I love living it. No matter the day, no matter the time, no matter the situation, I use suggestion #2 that I gave above, and when I miss that one, I do #1 – because as you said, everything is a loving gift in one way or another.

    P.S. You are too cute and funny! I absolutely loved the conversation you had with yourself, you gave me a good laugh. But on a serious note, what you did was amazing and genious – that is all we need to do to get to the “real” root of any of our “issues”. It is also what Neale Donald Walsch was prompted to do in his books “Conversations with God” and through that he attained amazing growth and I would even say enlightement!

  2. akemi on September 17th, 2009 6:26 pm

    Lol, glad you enjoyed it. (Just to let you know — although I think you know — I am in no way proud to have a ticket.)
    You make excellent points. As our consciousness grows, everything IS good. I sort of touched up that point toward the end, but I guess I can write another post to emphasize this point further.

  3. Meghashyam Chirravoori on September 17th, 2009 10:32 pm

    1) The post made me feel very nice. I won’t even say good, just nice and calmer.

    Thank you :)

    2) I absolutely loved the way you talked with yourself. You did not convince yourself straight away that the ticket incident as a nice thing to happen. And you did not let possess you completely and whine away. You gave that whining part some space and heard it and than talked with it. It was very, very beautiful.

    After reading your post, i lay down on my bed and asked myself how I was feeling. I waited for an answer. when the answer came, I asked the answering person some other questions – like if there was agitation – what was causing it? Or as there anything in the background worrying you? And it spoke gently…:)

    Thank you once again!

  4. Faramarz - Anxious Candy on September 17th, 2009 11:38 pm

    This is a great post and something i have tried to get myself to do many times. The thing is how do you keep this mindset if you have terrible things happening to you over and over, i mean if you got pulled over five times in one day how could you keep your composure and maintain this state of mind. I think for most people myself included it would be next to immposible

  5. Jeanne on September 18th, 2009 5:00 am

    Akemi, what great thought and experience you share here! I’ve been at the point in my life — for years now — where everything really IS good. I mean everything. It’s so good that last winter when I got sick for a few days (and that almost never happens) I joked with myself that it was the Universe’s message to me that “no, you haven’t died and gone to heaven yet, even though it feels that way to you.”

    I think also, that sometimes when “bad” things happen to us, it’s happening as a message or alarm for the benefit of someone else, and our response to the event is also for the benefit of someone else. This is one way we give life to others.

    Your self-talk is a great reminder of the benefits of doing just that — thanks!

  6. Rajive Menon on September 18th, 2009 7:33 am

    This is something that all of us haves to know and come to terms with. Thanks sso much for opening up my mind still more.

  7. Kelly on September 18th, 2009 7:57 am

    It is, um, good to keep in mind that the good you are referring to is not in opposition to a bad. It is a good that has no opposites. This is a point that I believe many people confuse.

    Great post.

  8. akemi on September 18th, 2009 8:33 am

    Glad you liked the post. Keep talking with yourself until that insecure worried part of you gets completely healed.

    Well, if you are creating a lot of “bad” things, all the more reason to examine what you are secretly getting with these bad things, what fear you have about releasing these bad things, etc.
    We are all creating our life and everything in it. I created that ticket. And if I can release my fear of wealth, it’s cheap. If you are getting five tickets, your Higher Self is screaming, “Please. Take. Notice. There. Is. Something. You’d. Want. To. Notice.”

    I didn’t do that conversation with myself to calm myself down. And I’d def not proud about the ticket. In fact, I thought a good deal if I really want to share this incident — I know my clients read this blog. I finally decided to do this because I think it serves as a good example.

    Yep, life flows when our awareness rises. I’ve in in the “Everything is good” state for quite some time, too. This ticket incident was an interesting way to remind me a few things.

    You are welcome. Now the practice of this may take some time. Keep going.

    Oh yes, good point. The nature of the “good” changes as we get out of the illusion of duality. Thank you for reminding us.

  9. Lisa (mommymystic) on September 18th, 2009 2:05 pm

    Hi Akemi, I have so been on this train of thought lately – this was along the lines of what I was thinking when I brought up the value of life’s ‘challenges’ in my comments of one of your prior posts (although you said it much better.) Everything is an opportunity! This becomes so clear for me personally when I look back on my life and see how much I grew from the most difficult parts of my life. And it is a relief in a way, that I don’t have to fear life’s challenges, that it’s all good, and there’s value and beauty in it all. It helps me relax and open in the moment. (And I love the inner conversation you relayed here by the way – hysterical, and something we can all relate too.)
    Anyway, this is why I am sometimes resistant to the idea of ‘heaven on earth’. In Tibetan Buddhism there is this teaching that to be born human is the perfect incarnation for spiritual progress exactly because it is the perfect mix of challenge and joy. That in the ‘heavenly’ realms, beings run the risk of becoming attached to pleasure, or never develop compassion for others because they have never experienced pain. In other words, there isn’t enough challenge for growth. And conversely, that in the ‘hellish’ realms, there isn’t enough joy for beings to even see the light, or love, and therefore to want more. This realm, physical incarnation, is the perfect balance of the two for propelling us forward.
    Thanks for a thought-provoking post.

  10. akemi on September 18th, 2009 5:12 pm

    Quite a lot of people think I am funniest when I am most serious. I haven’t figured out why. . .
    (Am I funny? In that conversation? Am I?)

    Reading this post again, I guess I could break it to two posts, or write a few more paragraphs about the next stage of “All is good” that goes beyond the “It’s good because it’s a learning opportunity” Thinking is becoming harder and harder these days for me. . . But really, there is a next stage to it, too. You’ll see.

  11. EarthMother - In The Raw on September 19th, 2009 8:35 am

    LOVE your self-talk, Akemi! Whether knowingly or not, I think you just did a session of what Byron Katie calls “The Work.”

    I cringed a bit when I read “Because I hate cops.” When I was 18, my first spiritual teacher used to say “Pay attention when a cop shows up in your dreamtime, because they represent your Higher Self.” To this day, whenever I see a police cruiser, I wave and say a mental “Hello!” to my Higher Self. LOL. You know, I’ve never had a traffic ticket!

    Are you holding onto your health problem and your fear of recovering to great health because, without the health problem you have little to complain and commiserate, and you are afraid of losing people’s attention?

    Fab question! And, oh-so true. Caroline Myss wrote a wonderful book about this: Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can

  12. akemi on September 19th, 2009 1:19 pm

    Ah, here you go, another thing I need to heal: my discrimination against cops. Love them like you do, and it makes complete sense you don’t get any tickets.
    I only heard about Byron Katie’s The Work. It’s like my conversation? He he, kinda make me feel special.

  13. Hunter Nuttall on September 20th, 2009 7:06 am

    A single ticket is nothing to worry about, and it sounds like this rarely happens to you. But some people get in the habit of getting tickets.

    For those people, if they get too many points on their driving record, they lose their license. What happens if you get too many points on your Akashic record?

  14. akemi on September 20th, 2009 7:31 am

    I get one ticket every several years. My previous one just dropped off my record, getting my insurance premium a lot lower. I want to make this the last one ever by sending love to street cops, like earthmother says.
    “Bad” things are like alarms. If you are getting lots of them, do check with yourself. Don’t just whine or ignore them.
    With points on Akashic Records? Of course, that’s when you want reading and clearing with me!

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