What If Everything That Happens To You Is Good?
September 17, 2009 by Akemi Gaines
I guess the common sentiment we have about life is, “Well, there are good things and bad things that happen in life. We can’t help it. Just enjoy the good and lie low when bad things happen.”
So we are grateful when we receive “good” things like loving relationships, friends and family, foods on the table and the roof over the head, the money that gets these good things, the job — the income source, health, long life, and so on.
And we don’t like “bad” things like loneliness, relationship problems, hunger, poverty, job loss, obesity, illness, disability, aging, and death. We don’t even like thinking about them, and when it happens, we are upset, confused, resentful, and wish they go away ASAP.
This is just natural, right?
The challenge of the hypothesis
My spirit guides challenged me a few weeks ago (the week before my moving, to be exact) with the question, “What if everything that happens to you is good?” I immediately knew this is right, but it took me a while to put it into reason.
“Like EVERYTHING?” You may be thinking. “What is good about a psycho boyfriend / girlfriend, or hopeless poverty, or painful disease?”
Well, yes. They are good because they are great learning opportunities. You didn’t bring it up to reality if they were no good. (Remember you are creating your own life and the world?)
Now when I say “learning opportunities”, there are mainly two things we can learn. One is the life lessons and associated lessons. We don’t have to learn them the hard way, but many of us do choose so. We have discussed this into detail already on this Yes to Me blog.
Another is the crooked thinking patterns we have. These “bad” things are like an alarm going off, “There is something kinked up in you, please take a look!” Alarm is annoying but not bad.
Let me put it this way. God sends us love, love, and more love. Unconditionally. They are all good. But some gifts are a bit different. God may be sending you a bit of herbal medicine or a gift card to chiropractor because God noticed there is something about you that needs care, even if you may not have noticed. And you complain that the medicine tastes bad or you are too busy to go to the chiropractor.
Now I got tested about this hypothesis right away. . .
What is a traffic ticket trying to say?
On my first moving day (I spent two days moving, first doing the move in, then doing the move out with movers carrying my furniture), I was driving on a freeway and just casually tried to change my lane. I guess I wasn’t looking well enough. The car on the fast lane horned, I got back to my lane, and . . . well, the police car was right behind me.
Few things are more embarrassing and annoying than getting a traffic ticket. And seeing an angry cop’s face in the rear-view mirror.
So what is good about this? I need to learn how to drive safe? Well, maybe that’s included, but that’s not all.
After I was released, I was talking to myself. I actually talked aloud in my car because I wanted to see how this worked:
Akemi 1: So what is good about this traffic ticket? This just sucks.
Akemi 2: Well, let’s see. Why do you think it’s bad?
Akemi 1: Because I hate cops.
Akemi 2: He wasn’t too bad. I’d say he treated me quite fairly — he didn’t yell or do something intimidating. He was just doing his job, and even if you don’t like him, so what? It’s not like you have to marry him.
Akemi 1: This is going to be on my driving record. (And on my Akashic Records, too!) And I have to pay the fine.
Akemi 2: Yes, it will take up some of my time, depending on what you want to do with it. We can go to the court or we can just pay it.
Akemi 1: I hate paying the fine! And it’s not just the fine, the auto insurance premium will go up, too, you know.
Akemi 2: Yes, but we can pay.
Akemi 1: I . . . I’m afraid. It will cost a lot. Insurance is expensive.
At this point, I stopped and thought. So aside from the emotional unpleasantness (which is only temporary), what’s really bothering me is the financial concern? Really?
Our hidden fear and why we hold onto it
Now I know that, when we have fear, it’s because we are holding onto it. Most fears are temporary — like, you may get serious fear if another car comes too close to you, but that goes away pretty quickly. And we are holding onto the fear because we are afraid of something else that may come if we let go of the first fear. So in this crooked logic, holding onto the first fear feels safer.
Akemi 2: Are you afraid of becoming poor? But it’s not likely we become poor with one traffic ticket. What is the real issue? Am I getting something by holding onto this fear of poverty?
Akemi 1: . . .
Akemi 2: Does being concerned about money make you feel safe? What’s going to happen if I release this fear of poverty?
The answer that came out of my own mouth surprised me.
Akemi 1: . . . I might become wildly rich.
Gee. Really. But it seems true. Fear of wealth is far bigger than fear of poverty. I wasn’t aware of this before.
Opportunity to examine your fear
Fear of wealth or fear of success is a tricky one. We use lack of money or opportunity as an excuse of not living a great life. I think many of us are secretly afraid of living a full happy life even when we say the complete opposite. It involves a huge responsibility to oneself (to God) to live that way.
Are you doing something similar to what I was doing? Are you afraid of releasing your crazy partner (or afraid of getting out of the pattern of having relationship with crazy partners, therefore switching from one crazy one to another) because without them, you are faced with yourself, and you have no distraction nor excuse not to express your great self and live your life purposefully?
Are you holding onto your health problem and your fear of recovering to great health because, without the health problem, you have little to complain and commiserate, and you are afraid of losing people’s attention? And because you are afraid you may have a miraculous healing power science hasn’t uncovered yet? And again, without the disease, you have no excuse not to live a great life?
I guess I may be upsetting some people especially with the last one. I’m not a doctor and I don’t claim to know your health condition nor your possibility to recover. I do have a feeling many people cling to their condition as an excuse. One of my Spirit Guides Coaching client was this way. Her spirit guides was urging to let go of certain things, but she was absolutely against it. Just to be sure, I asked her about her medical diagnosis, and all she could say was something that happened more than 20 years ago. She was taking full advantage of her (past) health problem and was nowhere near releasing it, even though she insisted the opposite.
So what really happens if everything that happens to you is good?
Then you just have to accept this universe is absolutely benevolent and loving. There is just no way you don’t live as an empowered free soul, expressing your gifts and strengths, and living a full life of love and joy. No point about complaining, fighting, accusing, or even “working on the problem” — we can just go straight to the point and live our life fully.
My feeling is that, in the past, our awareness was not clear enough to see this so we perceived certain things as “bad” based on superficial consequences. However, we are growing up to see the bigger picture.
When our awareness really grows, everything starts to look really good, even without thinking, “Okay, this may be a learning opportunity. . .” We get to be grateful for everything there is. We get to see everything as the divine gifts that they are. That, my friends, is the entrance to the heaven on Earth. (Photo credit)